The other day my workout was to head to the near by high school track and run 8×1 mile repeats….I was ready and felt psyched to do them.

I got to the track around 11:00 am and the temps where already near 90 degrees.  I ran my obligatory 2 miles warm up (ok…really just 1 mile that day) and then began my first 1 mile repeat.  By the time I made the fourth lap of the mile I was dying!  I felt flat and was breathing hard.  I looked at my watch and my time was one minute slower than what my coach wanted me to do…..Oh, Oh…this was going to be a struggle….

I walked my recovery and got to the line and began my next mile repeat….I know sometimes I can take a few miles to warm up so I was hopeful things might turn around…..Nope, not a chance….Basically- that’s how it went the whole 8x 1 mile repeats….

After about the third repeat I wanted to quit.  I wanted to stop and walk- I wanted to only do 3 or 4 repeats- I wanted to be anywhere but on this hot track….

That’s when I thought about my Dad.  My Dad will be beginning radiation and chemo treatment in the next few weeks for the cancer they found in his neck……I thought how my Dad is not going to be able to give up….how he is not going to be able to just do “some” of his treatment or cut it short, how he is going to have to stick it out and not give up.

That is when I made the decision that I would honor my Dad by doing the same.  That I would not miss a workout; that I would not cut a workout short; that I would stick it out and not give up.  I even decided that I would do every workout just a little bit longer than I was suppose to- even if that was by a few seconds.

In the two weeks I’ve been here in Mt Shasta with my Dad I have felt kinda down and have been cutting my workouts short.  Riding 1 hr 45 mins rather than 2 hrs; running 8 miles instead of 10….you get the picture. 

 But that will not be the case any longer.  I will draw inspiration from my Dad as he fights cancer and I am committed to completing all workouts in full and not missing a single workout.  I will not give up or cut anything short……I’m in this for the long haul and 3 more months of prep for Ironman…and my Dad is in this for his life…..He inspires me daily and I’ll fight my own battle right along side him!

So that was revelation number One…..(there were a few revelations that day on the bloody hot track).  Lately I have been not liking my body as I feel that I have a lot of fat on my legs and body and can’t understand why I have not gotten “ripped” and looking like all these other lean athletes!  I look down at my legs and think “legs, you suck, look at that fat above your knees and how my thighs are bigger and my pants fit a bit tighter”…..

Well the revelation was- WTF!  Why am I saying that to my body and legs for!?????  This body and legs are doing amazing things for me and I should be Thanking my body- not hating it!!!!  So right at that moment I started thanking my legs for getting me through this track workout and for helping me run 30 miles or biking 100s of miles…. I thank my body for being healthy and carrying me on my journey to Ironman Cozumel….

I have found a new perception and like for my body (to be honest I’m working on the Love part).  I appreciate everything my body does for me and not longer feel like it’s betrayed me.  I still do wish at times I had that ripped/lean body- maybe that will come someday- but if itdoesn’t I’m ok w/ how my body currently is and I am grateful everyday for the miles these legs and lungs carry me!

Who knew that one day at track could have such a profound impact in my thinking and view on myself and life.  It’s amazing where and when we get the opportunity to gain insight about ourselves.  I’m glad I made it to the track that day exactly when I did…

Oh and BTW- my times kept getting longer and I never did have a great session that day (time wise that is)- but I did gain much more mentally than physically….I got all 8 repeats done- and I didn’t give up!

This past week was my HELL WEEK!

Within 7 days I completed the Sunrise Century (102 miles/7000′ elev gain); Ran 24 miles the next day; Drove from Denver to Mt Shasta California (24 hrs); Rode 2 hours; Completed my own 70.3; And rode in the Mt Shasta Summit Century Ride the next day (105 miles/ 13,500 elev gain).

I had an amazing time on the Sunrise Century Ride w/my fella Ironmaner Bine.  Bine was awesome to ride with and we had a wonderful time.  The scenery was beautiful and the people were great.  I loved the whole experience.  This was my third century ride this year and Bine’s first…she rocked it!  She was amazing!  The whole day was amazing….

And then came the next morning…I got up at 6:00 am and headed out to Waterton Canyon to run it twice for 24 miles.  I was kinda bummed that no one else was up for a run that morning as it would have helped motivate me more.  But I showed up and started my run.  It was a beautiful morning with many families starting a morning outing.  The water in the river was high and muddy. 

I was pleasantly surprised at how good I felt during the run!  I thought I would be  slow as molasses…but I wasn’t!  I actually felt fantastic and not the least bit fatigued.  I even ran my fastest time!  I could not believe it!  I continue to surprise myself as I continue to train and then try something hard and challenging and then to see myself be successful.  It completely surprises me!

As I was running back to the parking lot for the second time (around mile 22) I remembered my first run up Waterton a little over a year ago.  My coach had me run up 3 miles and back for a total of 6 miles…..well, around mile 4 I had to walk.  There is this little hill and last year I was not fit enough to run up the hill on the way back…and here I was running up it at mile 22!!!!  OMG!  It just made me realize how much I could change in one year, just by staying with it! 

So- big weekend followed by a BIG car ride!  Many hours of driving and one sore bumm found me in Mt Shasta on Wed night.  Thursday was off to Dr’s appts w/my Dad and a 2 hour  bike ride in the evening.  Friday was a short run- and then it was time for the KILLER weekend again 

On Saturday I did my own 70.3. I swam at Lake Siskiyou, biked along Old Stage Rode, and then ran around Lake Siskiyou….I started WAY to late (8:30) for how hot the day was going to be.  By the time I got to my run it was almost 1:00pm and 99 degrees.  I absolutely melted on the run!  I could not for the life of me find the umph to want to run 13.1 miles, even after dousing myself with cold water from a hose in the campground.  So I must confess- my 70.3 ended up more of a 62.1~

And then there was the next day- Sunday- and the Mt Shasta Summit Century with a 5:30am start!  This was the best century ride I have done so far and also the hardest thing I have done to date.  The climbs where BRUTAL!  ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL!  On the second climb I ran out of water about 45 mins away from the summit of the second pass….thank goodness for the “angels” who pedaled up beside me and said something, so I could take the opportunity to squeek out that I was out of water!  Both gentlemen let me have some of their beverages and I know for a fact I would not have made it had it not been for them!  (Cyclists are way cool too!).

Oh- something else that happened…that morning I had forgotten my gloves and when I went back to the car to get them I realized I locked my keys in the car…..so I rode the whole event sans gloves!!!  That was almost a brutal as the climbs because of the rough road descents!!  But every minute was worth it.  It was amazing to have roads with basically no cars on them.

So here I am….after HELL week- trying to keep my engery up to train. Track workout today was beyond slow- but I guess that can happen after the week I had.  And guess what- I loved it!  I wish I had more weeks like that…oh wait a minute—-I DO! 

Last weekend was one of the hardest training weekends that I have experienced since I began training for Ironman.  Saturday was a 15 mile run; Sunday 4+hrs bike ride in the mountains…..

This is how it start.  I set out Saturday morning, not particularly early to run a new-to-me trail on Lookout Mountain.  Well, the instructions I got from a friend first sent me off in the wrong direction. I asked someone on the trail who told me I needed to go out the other end of the parking lot.  I then ran back to the parking lot and started in the right direction…Great- I’m on the trail now- I thought to my self.  Which I was…only problem I was doing more  boulder hoping and crossing of talus slopes than I was running for the first mile……at which point I turned around and headed back to the parking lot.   I figured I had no idea if the trail would ever become runnable, and since it wasn’t the best trail no one was on it, and I do keep the idea of possible mountain lions in the back of my mind.

I made it back to the parking lot and decided I would head to Bear Creek Lake to get my 15 miles in.  So into the car and down the mountain to the Conoco Station at Morrison.  “Great- I’m here and ready to get my run in!”  I start out on my run and within the first mile I end up eating most of the food I had brought w/me.  I had eaten breakfast almost 3 hours ago and had packed sparingly for today’s run….I decided no nutrition was not an option so I headed back to Conoco- grabbed some goodies…and this time set out on my run for real!!!!  (It’s about 3.5 hours after I left my house by now!)

I get going on my run.  I’m feeling good, it’s the middle of the day by now and in the 90′s.  I finally start to get a groove going.  I decided to run a loop around the Lake a few times….so I’m just finishing up the loop and look at my Garmin and I’ve been out almost an hour and have run only 2.94 miles!  “Man I suck today!!!!! What a lame a$$ runner!”, I’m thinking to myself.  A few more minutes pass, I look at my Garmin watch again and realized the GPS is not working as it’s permanently stuck on 2.94 miles….”OK so I’m not such a lame a$$ runner…but this watch SUCKS!  How am I going to know my mileage????  X%$#&^*! “.

I decide that I should do this loop at least twice and starting from the Conoco parking lot should make this close to 14 miles…then I wonder should I count the other 4 I’ve already run earlier or should I do 15 straight.  Then I start to have this thought that I don’t even want to do the run.  I feel like cr@&, I’m kinda pissed off, I’m definitely frustrated, and it’s hotter than hell!  I get back to the point were I would start the second loop and opt to continue!  Remember Cozumel baby, is what I’m thinking….So on I go for a second loop…….

I finish the second loop, after stopping twice and putting my head under water spigots, and head back to the car.  Thank goodness this epic day is DONE!!!!    I figured I ran somewhere between 12-14 miles…add in the other 3-4 miles and I think I came close to 15 miles today….grrrrrrr.  This 15 miler turned into a 6 hour ordeal!  Not exactly what I had planned for today……grrrrr. 

Then comes Sunday.  I wake up exhausted.  My usual biking buddies are either doing the MS 150 or some hellasious steep a$$ mountain ride.  I find myself totally unmotivated and NOT wanting to ride at all.  A get a txt from a friend of mine from California (thanks Howie) who says all the right things that get me out the door….barely. 

My friend Elizabeth and I are suppose to meet up later today after not visiting for over two months, so I give her a call and tell her that I will ride to her house after my ride.  I tell her how I’m feeling and about my plans…and ask if I can check in w/her along the way….(motivation backup!)

So my plan was- to ride from my house to Lookout Mountain-head up and over and back up Lookout- down the back side and then make my way over to her house in Denver West…..

I rode from my house over Dinosaur Ridge and to the bottom of Lookout. It took me an hour!  OMG it’s never taken that long…plus I’m still feeling like cr@#.  I am soooo wanting to bail and head to Elizabeth’s house, but I call her instead and say I’m going to head up Lookout and see how I feel….I can always turn around if I feel like cr@# (my word for the day!), and I if I make it to the top I may ride over the other side……..So- off I went, slowly.  My legs were mush, my breathing was labored and just about everybody and their grandmother (make that great-grandmother) were passing me.  This was a granny gear kinda day…

I made it to the top of Lookout, (w/out stopping), looked at my watch and saw my time was not off that much from what it usually would be- Man was I surprised by that as this felt the hardest it ever had today!  I call Elizabeth- tell her I made it to the top and am going to head down the other side and if I am feeling ok (I was never expecting to feel good today-just ok) I would ride back up the back side….And off I went again.

Well I made it down and finally started to feel ok after a few hours into riding, not great by any means, but at least ok….and decided to head to the top again.  I got back to the top after fueling up at the bottom and called Elizabeth and told her I would be headed her way soon.  She told me she figured I would ride back up and good on me for sticking w/it.  I wasn’t so sure I agreed with that- I still was feeling like cr@#!

I made it to Elizabeth’s house where she feed and watered me. We chatted on her back porch and I opted for the ride back to my house.  She had to go to Whole Foods by my house and I was just DONE for the day!  I did not want to get back on my bike for nothing…..This was another training day I was soooo very glad to have OVER!!!  Actually I was glad to have this whole weekend OVER!  I was actually looking forward to going back to work so I could “rest”, meaning my training would be lighter. 

And that’s how I was Put To The Test this weekend.  I wanted to give up both days, I felt like cr@# both days, I didn’t want to train both days….and I had never been more glad a weekend was over in my training career.  But I stuck it out, did the workouts anyway, and know that I have this time to look back on when I’m in the middle of my Ironman and hurting.  I can remember I made it through this weekend and survived, just by staying w/it and going the distance!

Oh my goodness, what a difference a week off training can make! I soooooo, I mean soooooo, needed a week off!

Starting with last Saturdays workout I have had a strong week of training! I have felt motivated and ready for each training session.

This week found me having back-to-back training sessions-it went like this: Tues AM Swim nonstop 45 mins-work all day-Track at night; Wed AM Masters Swimming-work all day w/weight training during lunch-Computrainer Bike class at night; Thurs AM Swim masters-work all day- Run 8 miles at Tempo…. Believe it or not- it was fun to do this!
Pretty much my life for 3 days was strickly-train-work-train-sleep-oh yea and eat in there somewhere!

It was a wonderful week of training with close to 12 hours of training this week…..how about that 17 hour training day- does work count?????

Last Sunday I was scheduled to do my first bike ride in the mountains of the season. Not a super challenging ride, but a good one to start off with…..

I woke up that morning and the thing I really wanted to do was to crawl back in bed. But I got my stuff together and met my friend for the ride…..Still wanting to go back home and crawl into bed.

I thought how sometimes I feel this way but once I get going I start to come around and get moving just fine….Well this Sunday that was not the case.

I started off the easy- I mean easy “climb” up Deer Creek to the turnoff for High Grade. A few miles into the ride I was in my “granny gear”, I’m talkin “granny gear” with a triple front ring….and I was still struggling with that! I had absolutely NOTHING in me. When I got to High Grade I decided I should cut my losses and turn around and call it a day……Which is exactly what I did.

I got home and crawled into bed for a 1 hour nap….and woke up feeling a bit under the weather.
I talked to Coach Andrea and we decided I should take Monday off and play it day by day.

Well, with the way I felt Monday I made the executive decision to take 3 full days off….and to NOT feel guilty about it. I have slept in, not trained, eaten well, slept extra hours, enjoyed doing nothing and did I mention, slept?

Today is Wednsday, and I also took today off work. I slept 12 hours straight! It was wonderful to not have to wake up at any particular time…..I have relaxed and the most I did today was write this blog. Now that’s what I call a rest day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am somewhat feeling like I’m ready to get back to training, but I’m going to listen to my body. I have been going at it hard for over a year now, and have never taken 3 days off in a row…..and I may take another day off if that’s what my body is telling me tomorrow.

Learning to listen to your body is part of training. We work on our bodies, our nutrition and we have to work on our recovery too. My body spoke loud and clear on Sunday and I am glad I listened. I have a long season a head….all the way through November. 3 or more days off right now may be just what I need…actually- I know it is.

So here’s to taking a time out and being ok with that decision

The end of February found me “celebrating” a little too much. I just had a birthday and there where a few parties at work during lunch hour….hence a lot of sweets and food….
So what does this have to do with eating to train???

Looking back on the last two weeks for Feb. I see that I was Training To Eat. What that means is I was eating everything and anything…because I deserved it for training “so” hard. I was eating muffins, cakes, cookies, mochas, chips….you name it. All those foods that I normally stay far away from (ok-maybe not tortilla chips as much-they’re my fav!). I had this mentality that I could eat whatever I wanted because I was burning so many calories. Especially following my second 25 milers- as I knew my training workload dropped a bit…..

Well, by the end of those two weeks I found myself 4 pounds heavier and going into my Saturday Brick Workout sluggish as all heck. That was the morning of 27 degree bike ride and run.

I was DRAGGING beyond anything I could have imagined! I was riding slowly- but it felt HARD! My heart rate was way up and my perceived effort was high even though I was barely moving 14 MPH….. As I watched the group pull far ahead of me- I reflected on what was going on with me that day…

What became clear to me as I struggled through the ride- was that I had been Training To Eat rather than EATING TO TRAIN!

I could absolutely tell the difference between when I eat healthy so I can fuel my next workout- and when I just eat whatever because I have trained so hard! It’s BS to think I can eat whatever- I can’t! I’m an athlete and whatever I put into my mouth will affect my next workout or worse yet- workouts!

After that lovely brick workout I got back on the “wagon”. I spent some time thinking about the difference between Training to Eat and Eating to Train. It’s been a week now- I already feel slimmer; my tummy’s not bloated; my energy is better; my training is better; I just feel better overall!

Eating To Train needs to be my lifestyle for the next year. I can’t indulge in sweets and over the top foods- I have a goal- and to take my eye off that goal, for even a full day- really affects how I will be able to train!

Not only do I have to complete all the workouts my coach has for me- but I HAVE to EAT TO TRAIN. I know I use the words “have to”, but this is really a choice- I choose to train and eat properly….because I love it! And because the only way I will get to the start of IRONMAN is if I am consistent over the next 8 months! Caz- I’m in it for the long haul baby!