Yesterday was my birthday….yeap another one. 

 I am officially over 50!  Holy Cra%…How in the heck did that happen????  Wasn’t it just yesterday I was 35??????  I can’t believe it…..Time does fly, especially when you’re having fun!!!!

Every year I’ve looked at my birthdays as the one day out of the year where I can make it all about me (not that I don’t on other occasions…but I’m working on that).  There was only one problem yesterday.  This was my first birthday in 51 years where my Dad didn’t sing me happy birthday.  That made for a bit of a sad day.   It was my birthday and an occasion for celebration, but I really spent a lot of time crying when I was alone……And that was ok.  I needed to do that…….grieving can be like that…it just comes and then it’s gone.

So of course, with a birthday, it brings an opportunity to pause.  Pause and take stock of my life and where I’m at, and where I’m going.  At the beginning of the year I wrote a post about New Years Intentions.   With all that occurred in January I never made the time to write myself a mission statement.  I figure now is a good time to do that as I embark on my next year of being on this earth.

Even though yesterday was a tough day, I must thank all my friends who reached out to me and wished me a happy birthday.  Each time I got a message it lifted my spirits and put a smile on my face.  It made me feel cared for and comforted. 

Today is a new day.  I feel GREAT and happy and joyful and thankful to be 51!  I think I needed those tears yesterday to wash away some of the sorrow. 

The sun is out and tomorrow will bring a TOUGH strength run!  It will be nice to run outdoors!  It’s been a few weeks.  I’ll make sure to take pictures and blog about it!  Should be a dooozzzyyyy….

I hope everyone enjoys the weekend and gets out in the sun!

SAD….I’m SAD…..I’m Surrly, Anxious and Depressed because I’ve had to do every long run and long ride indoors for the last 3 weekends!

SAD…this stuff is real!  I’m Seasonally Affected with this Disorder.  I am craving a weekend day that is sunny and not snowing.  I don’t even care if it’s not warm….just give me the darn sun!!! 

Why is it that durning the week, when I’m working indoors the sun is out and the temps hover in the 40’s?  But come Saturday morning it snowing?  Who’s idea is this anyway.  It’s tough when the weather in Denver gets in these patterns.  I always begin to find myself getting a bit surrly and chompin at the bit!

SAD

As a mental health therapist, I know the role that exercise in the sun can play on mood and brain chemistry.  But darn if the sun isn’t cooperating these days. 

So since the sun doesn’t find me…I try to find the sun in my own way.   I’ve begun a game with myself.  I tell myself I am training my mind.  Yeap.  I take these endless weekend indoor training sessions as an opportunity to toughen my mind.  I grit through the pain of the endless hours of boredom and tell myself I am mentally getting tougher to handle things that might come up in a race.  I figure if I can endure another 2-3 hour treadmill run I can endure anything.  I mean anything! 

Sometimes the hardest part of racing is getting through the training.  If I can keep with my training, no matter what, no matter the season….then when it’s time to be standing in the water on that chilly morning- I’ll be ready!  I’ll have gotten through the hard part…..And the SADness will be gone!  Plus it helps knowing better weather is just weeks away!!!!

Where'd It Go

On tap for Saturday was a run from the Conoco Station, over Dinosaur Ridge, into Red Rocks and up to the Amphitheater for the Boot Camp that goes on there, and then run back through the town of Morrison to the car. 

I had two friends who were going to join me.  One called the night before to cancel (problems with her knee).  Ok…no problem, I still have one person to suffer with me…..

Well Saturday morning rolls around and my alarm clock goes off at 6 am and all I want to do is stay in bed.  I’m sleepy and don’t want to get out from under the warm covers.  But I do, and make some tea, eat some breakfast and call my friend to check in. 

Yeap, we’re still on track to meet at 8:15.  Only thing is I’m already not “feelin” the mojo to do my workout as it’s written.  But then….I start to feel guilty about wanting to changing it!  I mull this around in  my head a bit.  A few minutes later I get a phone call…my friend can’t make it because her dog just had a seizure.  No problem, I totally understand!

Where'd My Mojo Go?

 But then, I’m left with a dilemma.  I absolutely don’t want to workout!  I don’t want to leave the house.  I don’t want to run.  I don’t want to go to the friggin Boot Camp at Red Rocks.  So….Where’d my Mojo Go???? 

I have to admit this was tough.  To get myself out the door was a struggle.  I told myself I would go to Green Mountain and run the trails there.  OK- I was feeling a bit more motivated for that.  This was enough to get me into my car and driving to Green Mountain.  As I passed Green Mountain (which happens to be on the way to the Conoco Station) I saw that the trails were covered in snow……guess it was going to be the Conoco Station!!

I made it to the station, got my stuff out and ready, (still not feelin’ it) and right before I started running I got a call from my friend saying she was still going to join me!  What sweet music to my ears!!!!  I began an out and back run and 30 minutes later I was back at the car and we were off together headed into the hills of Red Rocks. 

 We made it up to the Amphitheater and found out the class was canceled due to the snow.  We did an obligatory lap on the icy stairs and headed back down to the car.  We had a good time, worked the hills hard and enjoyed the downhill back to town.

Now here’s the thing I was contemplating.  It’s hard to stay motivated and keep my “mojo” sometimes when I’m training by myself.   Just knowing I’m  going to meet someone helps get me out the door, even if I’m a bit tired.  Saturday- I didn’t have that someone, and it was tough!  It can be downright tough sometimes to WANT to go train! 

I know when training for an Ironman, EVERY workout counts!  I can’t afford to cut them short or blow them off.  It WILL make a difference 6 months from now when I’m cranking out a 140.6 miles. Thinking this is one way that gets me out the door.  Another way that helps is to just start.  Just start running, biking or swimming for 10 minutes or whatever- and somehow it’s ok…..Telling myself I was going to run at Green Mountain really helped get me out the door Saturday.  Not that I was psyched about it…but it helped. 

Making plans with friends is the best way to make sure I show up for a workout…but when that falls through…and the MOJO is just plain gone…..it’s good to try and come up with ways to get out the door anyway.  Caz even if I can’t find it before I leave the house, chances are high that I will find it once I’ve started!!!!!!

There It Is!

Supa- Star

Do you ever have those training days or day when you get done and you just feel solid?  Like you could kick some serious a$$ and you are going to rock your next race?  You know….That you ARE a  SUPER STAR!  ?????

Well that’s the way I felt today when I walked out of the Rec Center, wet hair and all, in 20 degree weather after another kick butt Masters swim workout.  And here’s why…

After the past month, of getting my workouts in, grieving the loss of my father, and getting back to Denver and my life here….I have entered back into the realm of some serious training.

In 24 hours I swam Masters; did a grueling power Computrainer Class that seriously had me close to puking; slept 6.5 hours and then back at Masters this morning getting my arms blown up again!

At the beginning of each workout I felt  a bit flat for 10 minutes or so, but once I warmed up I was hammering hard.  It felt GREAT (even though I would wonder sometimes if I could keep going).  I imagined myself holding the pace for an entire race and finding that edge to dance on without blowing myself up.  You see, this race season is about racing “gutsy“, not just “safe” anymore.  I’ve been afraid (OMG I said it out loud!),  yeap afraid to HURT.So I’m going there- you know “there”- the “there” of pain and not knowing if you can hang on…..I want to dance that line and see what it might hold.

So after three hard workouts in 24 hours that had me working HARD and dancing with that line…I walked out of Masters this morning feeling like a SUPER STAR!  Like a real athlete who could do some damage this racing season.

Yesterday I did my first big run since Ironman. On tap was to run 26 miles from downtown Littleton to downtown Golden. The reward was to be a yummy buffalo burger at Table Mountain Inn.

We had an alpine start at 10:00am. The sky was clear, the sun was out and the temps were forecasted for the 40’s. The first crew consisted of Coach Andrea, Delinda, Janette and yours truely. We took off heading south on the South Platte trail into Chatefield Resevior. We found some single track and ran the dirt as much as possible.

The Runnin Gals

About 5 miles after we started we were in Chatfield and it was time for Delinda and Janette to turn around and head back. That left just Andrea and I to carry on.
We headed onto the bike path along C-470 headed to Golden. We pulled the big hill out of the res and had a bit of a downhill as we started our gradual accent to Morrison.  It was nice to be running with Andrea since we hadn’t done anything together for ages.  That’s one of the nice things about a super long run….you can talk while your running!

I was feeling really good and strong.  I was suprised by how quickly we passed Wadsworth Blvd and got to Kipling.  It was around here that Andrea started to have IT band problems.   She told me to not wait for her and to continue with my run and we would meet up in a bit.

With that- I was off.  I had the bestest, bestest run ever!  I was feeling strong and just rockin to my own rythym.  I tried to remember to stay in “proper” form- something I constantly work on seeing as I was never a runner in a past life. 

Something that has helped my running is an article I read in Triathlon Mag about this guy who ran a 10K with his dog tied around his waist.  He wrote this helped put him on his forefoot better and he PRed by 5 minutes.  When my puppy was young (he’s approaching 15 yrs) and I ran with him I would tie his leash around my waist.  As I ran yesterday- I remembered what that felt like and found I ran much better and faster!  I was leaning forward from my core and not my chest…..I just love it when some “que” helps me with my form…..

There I was, running and running and next thing I know I’m about to drop down into Bear Creak Lake Park.  I called Sharon and told her I was about 30 minutes from the Conoco Station in Morrison (we ALL know that landmark!).  I ran through the park, crossed the street, and there was Sharon waiting to join me for my last 8 miles!  My garmin read 18.8 miles and I figured I had at least 8 more to go until Golden.

I filled my water bottles, ate, and hit the road with Sharon at my side.  Now this is where it got HARD!  That 20 minute break did me IN!  See once you leave the Conoco station there’s this lovely, long (did I mention long?) hill to climb….and needless to say- I was having a tough time getting my groove back.  I tried and I tried….and I tried….the hill was tough.   We finally made it to the top and we were able to enjoy some downhill.

Running with Sharon was such a treat.  She talked and kept me occupied while we ran towards Golden.  I know if she had not joined me for this last push- I would have been miserable.  She kept me entertained and we had some nice conversations when I wasn’t sucking air! 

Sharon helped me a great bit.  One thing she pointed out twice to me as we were about half way to Golden was that I was running “tight”.  I realized because things (my legs) were starting to hurt (after 20 miles on concrete), I was shortening my stride and not moving freely any longer.  This was a great help!!!  Not that I did much about it at the time, but now- looking back- I can see that I will be able to move more freely when I’m starting to hurt!  Running “tight” serves no purpose and actually hurts more!

We meandered the bike path and then…..there we were!   At “The Taj” (Jefferson County Court House).  Yippeeeee!!!  I was so excited.  Just a few more miles and we would be in downtown Golden!!  Only thing between us and Golden was a few long rollers on the bike path….WE COULD DO IT!  I looked at my Garmin and my mileage read 26.6 miles.  I had already hit my planned mileage…but with Golden just a few more miles away…I had to do it!

Why did I have to do it???  For the Buffalo Burgers of course.  We were planning on meeting Andrea and Steve at Table Mountain Inn which serves the best Buffalo Burgers and Sweet Potato Fries you could ever eat…seriously!  So, we ran the rest of the way into Golden walking down Washington St for the cool down, and then through the blue doors to our much anticipated reward for a day well spent.

We chowed down on our burgers and then made our way home….all in all it was a fabulous day- spent with wonderful, supportive friends.   And yes- running 28 miles for a buffalo burger is definitely worth it!!!!!

The Buffalo Burger!!!

Yesterday I escaped the 4 feet of snow and headed out of Mt Shasta to Redding with my friend Craig for a 4 hour run.

We drove over the pass to I-5 and drove south from snow to rain for a lovely day of running along the Sacramento River.

By the time we got to the trailhead it was close to 11:00 with a heavy drizzle (not quite a rain). I put on my Newton Motion All Weather Shoes, we bundled up and headed out for two out and back trips.

The day was a bit gloomy and wet but being out in nature was a welcomed relief from a week of being indoors.

This trail is spectacular as you run along the Sacramento River the whole time. With all the rainfall in the past week there where waterfalls cascading into the river and swollen creeks dumping gallons of water to merge with the current. Ducks and other waterfowl dotted the water and river banks adding to the serenity of the run.

Sacramento River Rail Trail- minus the rain

The joy of running in this type of weather is not many people will brave the conditions to be outside. During the course of 4 hours I met a family fishing; two people walking their dogs; one person on a mt bike…but no other runners!

I found so much peace and serenity with this run. I was able to think about my Dad; pray to God; listen; and just feel. One thing my Dad instilled in me was a deep appreciation and love for the outdoors. The outdoors is my church and where I practice my spirituality. Outdoors is where I commune with God and where I am in awe of the beauty that is all around me.

So yesterday was a perfect day for me. As I spent 4 hours running I also spent time singing, just out of the shear joy of being alive and in such a beautiful setting on such a perfect day.

One thing I realized on my run, is that my Dad is no longer in a house in McCloud- but that now he can be with me where ever I am. I don’t have to call him up to talk to him- I can talk to him anytime, anywhere! He is no longer confined to a body… And something else I realized is if I’m real quiet…I can hear Dad answer!

And with all that- I think I’ll just keep Running and Singing in the Rain.

Oh my oh my….talk about a winter storm! 

Here I am in northern California in the midsts of a 4 day snow storm.  And did I mention I’m out in the boonies?  Like, in a small town of about 500 people? 

I use to live in this area years ago and since moving to Denver and our “champange powder”- I have forgotten all about  “Sierra Cement”.  Forget about trying to shovel…. I swear- half a shovel weighs about 10 lbs! 

Famous Sierra Cement- off the back porch

When El Nino storms “march” off the coast with “copious” amounts of moisture, you have the perfect recipe for downed tree and powerlines and closed roads!  And that’s where I find myself today…..stuck in the house with no where to go. 

We’ve been without power for 48 hours now- the roads are closed- as are all the businesses.  Thank goodness for the large generator that has been purring for two days, a wood burning stove, and Verizon Wireless Access.  I have all the luxuries I need 

One problem…is the propane for the generator is getting low, and Suburban Propane can’t fill their trucks because the eletricity is out and therefore can’t deliver more propane. 

So, we’re going to shut off the generator for today.  Oh yeah…did I mention we’re on well water and when the generator gets turned off so does the water??  Pots and pans and bottles are filled…

The forecast is for more snow.  The power isn’t suppose to be back on for about a week.  Hopefully we can get propane before then…but in the meantime……

Who said California was all sun and warm weather anyway?????

Tis officially the opening of my 2010 training season.  I started the year off back on my offical training plan after a month of relaxing and recovering from my first Ironman.  Not sure what I enjoyed most….the Ironman itself- or the excuse of not having to follow a training plan for one whole month!  (Hands down the Ironman itself wins!!!! )

I spent my down time relaxing, sleeping in, went to a movie, visited friends, training 30 mins to an hour a day, and losing some fat!  Yeap- I lost 3% body fat over the holidays!  How cool is that!  Some people thought it was kinda strange it “diet” during the holidays…but I am glad I did!  I don’t have to worry about those infamous 5lbs that can be gained from Thanksgiving to New Years….I actually have come through the holidays leaner and a bit lighter (I am going back to ditching the scale).

January is starting off with about 1 hour of exercise per day and will build to a 26 mile run from Littleton to Golden on January 23rd.  I am looking forward to a big run this month.  I love the feel of being in motion for that long….something I have missed in the last month. 

I am excited for what the new year may bring….snowshoe races, ultramarathons, another Ironman….and the company of many amazing friends and fellow athletes….

Well.  Here I am, the day before I head to Cozumel, Mx to compete in my first Ironman. 

I have been struggling with self doubt in the last week, mainly due to a slight calf pull that sidelined my last two brick workouts (100 mile bike/15 mile run; 100 mile bike/18 mile run). 

I have been tapering for 4 weeks now, not what was scheduled but how things played out.  the self doubt comes from wondering if I was ready and had done enough training.  I decided to get out my training logs for the past year and look back on what I’ve done to be ready for this DAY. 

To date I have completed 1x Ultra Adventure Race; 2x 30 mile Runs; 3x 25 mile Runs; 2x Marathons; 9x Century Bike rides; and a 5K, 6K, 2x 7K Swims…..Here is a timeline of the main workouts and fun I’ve had since November 2008.

November of 2008 I started with a group run on the Colorado Trail for 16 miles.  Two weeks later I was in Moab at the ULTIMATE XC Adventure Run for my first adventure race (23 miles).

Last mile at Moab

December found me running 26 milesfrom Highlands Ranch to Golden with temps ranging from 19 degress at the start to a balmy 29 degress by the time we arrived in Golden.  The following weekend was a 5K Swim at Denver University at 5:30 am!

Janurary started off the year with a 20 mile run  and two weeks later I was in California for the  REDDING MARATHON (26.2 miles).  I learned a lot from this marathon as I started way too fast and ended up walking more than running the last 5 miles. Pacing is EVERYTHING!

Finish of Redding Marathon with Kelly

The cold month of Feburary brought….More Running!  Two 25 milersover two Sundays in a row!  The HighlineCanal became my friend as I ran these two 25 milers. Luckily for me I have wonderful friends who joined me on parts of my run.  Thanks to Elizabethwho joined me  on my last 5 miles on both runs and kept me entertained! 

The Second 25 Miler Video

March opened with a 6K Swim (video) at Carmody Rec Center.  One thing I discovered on the 5:00 am Sunday Morning Swims was that I loved them!  It was such a wonderful way to start a Sunday. Swimming withgood friends!  Not much more happened this month.  I started computrainer classes at Peak to Peak Performance Center to begin to build my cycling.

Aprilbrought the beggining of the racing season.  First up- Rage Long Course Triathlon.  This is a HARD course!  Pretty much the same course I raced in October at Nationals where I qualified for a spot on the US Team for World Championships.  But I digress…that was 2008.  I had a good race and placed first in my age group.  Not a bad way to start the season  :)  Returned home for a 7K Swimat Carmody again.

Rage Finish- 1st Place Age Group!

May started the big mileage!  May 5th I did my first Ultra Run- Greenland 50K (30 miles).  I ran this with my coach Andrea where she taught me a lot about the finer points of running a race!  The next weekend I was off to Buena Vista Bike Fest  for my first Century ride ever!  I had a blast and HIGHLY reccomend this ride!  They have great support and the BEST food!

Lunch in Leadville at Buena Vista Bike Fest

June started off with a 4K Swim followed by Elephant Rock Century.  The very next weekend I was headed out of state for the Kansas Ironman 70.3 Triathlon!  Kansas IM 70.3 was amazing!  I had a great race and PRed by 20 minutes!!!  I was absolutlely suprised!  Then the very next weekend I competed in Loveland Lake 2 Lake Olympic Triathlon. 

The Girls at Elephant Rock Century

The Gang Kansas Ironman 70.3 Recon

Getting Ready for Loveland Lake 2 Lake

July was the beginning of traveling back and forth to California for 4 months to help care for my father as he went through cancer treatment.  Durning July I did a 20 mile Run and the next weekend rode in the Sunrise Century (7000 ft of climbing) on Saturday followed by a 24 mile Run on Sunday.  I was amazed that the run felt effortless and I was strong! 

Two days later I jumped in my car and drove for 3 days to California.   I arrived on Friday night and Saturday I did my own 70.3.   The next morning (August 1st) I was up at 4:00am to start the Mt. Shasta Summit Century. 11,000 ft of climbing in 100 miles!

August started with the  century ride followed by some bricks- 80 mile  Bike Rides/ 6 mile Run.  I also drove back to Colorado for two weeks to work.  While back home I raced in the Wild On Windsor Triathlon where I place 4th in Age Group.  The next day I was back in the car and headed to California.

September I spent in California where it was HOT.  I started with a 100 mile Bike Ride.  Next week was a 15 Mile Run with a 100 mile Bike the next day.  The following week- 25 mile Run with a 100 mile Bike the next day.  A few days later I did a 7K Open Water Swimin Lake Siskiyous!  It was amazing.  And then….a few days agter that I ran 30 miles!!!

October brought BIG mileage on the bike.  I did 2 more 100 Mile Bike Rides and followed by a brick of 50 Mile Bike with a 12 Mile Run.  Two days after the brick I had run out of Family Leave, my Dad had completed his treatment and I headed back to California on October 20th. 

Shortly after I returned home I went to run an easy 3 mile run and low and behold…I slightly tore my calf!  I immediately thought I was done…no Ironman for me.  Someone mentioned that I should stop catastrophizing  because it would probably be fine…..Well she was right, sort of. 

I ended up backing off my training and as a result missed my 2 big brick workouts.  I missed a 100 mile ride/15 mile run and a 100 mile run/18 mile run.  Plus a few other longer runs.  After talking to my coach she stated….”I am not worried about you.  You’ve been doing extended distance training for a year now!  You are more than ready regardless of missing these workouts!!!”  Sweet music to my ears!

I’ve had a longer taper than we had planned…but again due to all the training I have done up to this point…these last few workouts will not make or break my Ironman.  I’ve put the mileage in- way before most AgeGroupers would have, which leaves me in a good position even without the big bricks.  

I’m rested and after looking back at all I have done over the past year…..I realize  I AM READY!!! 

I’m ready for what ever may happen on November 29th, 2009 in Cozumel, Mx. 

One thing I know is that EACH and EVERY ONE of you who have run/biked/swam with me: who have given me a word of encouragement; who has cooked a meal; helped with a mechanical issue; drivin me to a race, airport, or workout; has called me, Facedbooked me; and supported me in more ways than I can write about—-YOU WILL ALL BE WITH ME AS I RACE ON SUNDAY IN COZUMEL!  

Each one of you will come to my mind as I embrace this opportunity that I am about to embark on!

I thank you all and am truely humbled by your most generous giving of yourselves!

And to my dear Jr High School best friend Janet V- who I did my first triathlon with in May 2008- I thank you for traveling to Cozumel with me and helping to keep me sane in the days before the race.

Love and peace to you all!

It’s been one week since my 25 mile run and 100 mile bike and I just got done with my 30 mile run! Yeap, that’s right. I actually ran 30 miles today!!! Can you believe it?? I’m still in shock…or is that hunger???

I drove out to Lake Siskiyou after a false start on a river trail due to cougar prints right in the middle of the trail. I opted for the better traveled-no cougar zone, but was not as psyched about having to run around the Lake four times…Yeap, four times! 

The day was sunny and headed to the high 60’s with a bit of a wind.  I headed out for my run with my Nathan Hydration Pack  loaded with water a plenty of food. 

The trail circumnavigates Lake Siskiyou, winding it’s way through a camp ground and a nicely maintained dirt trail the whole way…except for the 2 miles that you have to run on the road. 

The first two laps were effortless. I mean that they just happened and I didn’t put  much thought into them.  I stopped at the car and loaded more water in my pack and headed out for the second 15 miles. 

I started out on my third lap and started to get really frustrated with my hydration pack.  You see, every time I went to drink I had to pull the valve so hard I almost pulled my teeth out…I’m not exaggerating!  I couldn’t pull the valve with my hand so had to use my teeth and I had visions of my teeth becoming loose and falling out someday.

By the time I reach the mouth of the South Fork River and began crossing I was soooo pissed at my pack, I wiped out my Blackberry and Googled “Nathan Hydration Packs”; got their phone number and proceeded to call them during the middle of my run!  So I called Nathan; told them I was having some serious problems with my bite valve and was in the middle of a 30 mile run and ready to throw my pack in the lake. 

The accommodating lady at customer service got all my info and said the would send me out a new valve that same day……Now that’s what I call service!  Unfortunately I still had to get through my current run with the valve I had…but there was hope for future runs (BTW-the new valve works great!)

Well, I continued to my way, passed my car for the third time and headed out for my fourth and final lap.  I felt good until about mile 25, then things began to start hurting.  My left leg, thigh, foot….my right foot, my this, my that…….I would just begin to focus on form and the pain would begin to go away.  I found pain would come when I started to run incorrectly….but if I stayed in correct form things didn’t hurt!! 

I made it through the last few miles, dreaming of the car and an ice bath.  Oh- and a steak dinner!  Luckily the last few miles are slightly down hill and I cruised back to the parking lot.  I had done it!!!!  I had run 30 miles for the second time in my life!!!!! 

One thing that really struck me from this run is….the difference between 20 and 25 miles is not that much.  I mean it’s not that much harder to run those 5 more miles….BUT- the difference between 25 and 30 miles…..well that is  noticeably harder! 

So, maybe if I begin running 30 miles more often then that 5 miles won’t seem as hard someday.  Either way- I’m proud of myself for running 30 miles today.  It was hard, challenging, I wanted to quit, I didn’t want to quit, I hurt, I didn’t hurt.  You know who really kept me going out there???  My DAD!  I thought  of him and remembered the promise of not quiting or cutting things short…because he can’t.  He has to stay the course, just like I did……My Dad gave me so much inspiration especially in those last 5 miles! 

Thank You Dad!