I’ve got a confession.  I’m kinda embarrassed about publicizing this, yet I will in the hopes that it may help someone in the future. 

I’ve decided not to do Ironman Loiusville this year.  I have canceled the race, flight and lodging.  There is no turning back and changing my mind. 

Why you may ask……and here is the why….

Remember back in April when I wrote the postabout my first race of the season?  Well, looking back I think that was an indicator of how things would go this season. 

This whole season, since April I have just NOT felt “right”.  At first I chalked it up to being depressed following my Dad’s passing.  But as the months went on things got worse.  My workouts got worse, my zest for life got worse, my energy got worse….

I went from having good workouts that I felt stellar in to barely making it through one.  And afterwards I would be exhausted.  And if I did a “big” workout..forget about it. I was wiped out for a few days!  Not only did my workouts suffer, but I started putting on weight.  Well, fat really.  And I was eating “clean” and not pigging out! 

As the weeks went on I finally had that intuitive thought that “somethings not right.  This isn’t just mental, but something physical is not right with me.”  My guess was that something was going on hormonally (I’m officially through menopause a few months back) and I began asking people for referrals. 

I found a nutritionist and a Dr who specializes in hormones and promptly went to work with them to get to the bottom of things.  Well, it turns out that my adrenal glands are not functioning at full capacity and therefore my hormones (which where already low) are all screwy.  Plus my cortisol levels are wacky hence all the abdominal fat that has appeared without the benefit of eating tons of ice cream or something fun like that!

By the time I met with these professionals, I was barely able to get through a work day, let alone a workout….I just knew that an Ironman this year would put me in a much worse deficit….so, see ya later Louisville!  This was not an easy choice.  I mean it was hard to let go of doing another Ironman.  I really wanted to do it, but knew my body would be in worse condition if I did. From what these professionals I’m paying good money told me, I made the right decision.

So what does all that me for Go Doreen???  Well,  I immediately started a hormone protocol with Bio-identical hormones.  The very next day I was feeling better…no $HIT!  Not fabulous, but I felt rested for the first time in months.  I’m also starting to work with the nutritionist on how to support my glands using food to do so.  It will be a process, but hey, it’s better than the alternative of NOTHING.

What else this means is that Ironman Louisville has  been substituted for Coeur d’Alene!!!!!  Yeap, I’m signed up for IMCDA 2011!  I am so psyched about that. 

So the game plan is, to take the next few months to do things that are fun for me.  Keep my base with the swim, bike, run, but scale things down a bit to let my body heal.  I hiked a 13er a few weeks ago and this past weekend rode the Boulder 70.3 bike course and felt great!  I have not felt that good in a workout in months! 

I’m also going to be doing the Harvest Moon Long Course in Sept and Nationals Long Course in Oct.  This is all dependent though on how I’m feeling and how the tests come back.  But if all goes well these will send me into my training for IMCDA.  I feel hopeful that I will come out of this strong and feeling like myself again.  It helps a lot knowing that CDA is on the books for next year, since I’m out of IM this year.

What I’ve learned during this process, is it’s hard as a dedicated triathlete to listen.  To really listen to our bodies and hear what it’s telling us.  The signs are always there.  I know they were for me, I’d just kept hoping they would go away!  After a few months though I just knew I had to listen and find out what was going on.  I am really glad I did.  It’s not easy to do so.  It’s wasn’t easy to say “I can’t do Louisville this year”.  I mean that was REALLY tough! I wrestled with it for  a long time.  I kept hoping I’d feel better.  But I didn’t…but now I do.  I am starting to feel better.  And I know, I will feel great at some point in the future.  I am glad I’m taking care of myself now, so I can have more fun later!

I HIT IT.  I HIT the training Wall this weekend.  I hit that point where it took everything I had in me to get my workout done…and it was not a pretty sight. 

The past 6 weeks have been a mad push of building both my run and bike with a few races thrown in the mix.  I have had back to back big weekends followed by plenty of training during the week.  And as a result I HIT IT! 

I hit that point where I knew without a doubt that I had nothing left in the tank for any more workouts!  I hit that point where I needed a week of doing whatever and recovery.  I physically hit that point where I had nothing left in my legs!  After 2.5 years of training for triathlons I finally hit the spot where my body needed the rest! 

I had a mental wall I hit last February and took one week off….but this time my mind is in the game, but I body is screaming differently.  I didn’t even know I was cooked until I attempted to ride the Copper Triangle on Saturday with some friends. 

There were six of us who headed out for a SAG supported ride.  The day was perfect; the weather perfect; the company perfect! 

Ready to Ride Copper Triangle

We set off to ride up Vail Pass.  I started off like I would normally on a long ride,  riding a nice easy speed, letting everything warm up.  Nothing felt different…just the typical thick feeling in my legs.  I didn’t think much of it…just the slow steady warm up…..

As we began to ride through Minturn I started to get a clue that something was not right.  I was still feeling like I had lead for legs and by now I would have usually been warmed up.  I mean…there is barely an incline through Minturn and I was feeling as if I was climbing Mt Evans or something!  Needless to say my ability to ride got worse from there! 

Top of Tennesse Pass....

Tennesse Pass felt like Mt Everst!  I’m not kidding!  It was an all out struggle to get up the Pass.  I had nothing in my legs.  I wanted to stop so many times and then would not.  I would keep going…some how.  I am not sure how I acutally pulled this ride off.  Even on the flats I could barely ride!  I was telling my riding mates that I was “toast”!  Well finally I became “burnt toast” and took my turn SAGging for the last 2 miles of Freemont Pass on back to the parking lot.  I barely had anything left in my legs for walking! 

This was a really interesting experience for me.  I have never been to the point of being “done”.  Like having nothing left and knowing it’s time to take a recovery week.  I’ve had difficult workouts, but my body always comes around.  That didn’t happen this time.  There was no point in the ride when I “warmed up”.  I was done and there was nothing left!  I know this ride will make me stronger, both physically and mentally.  I made it through the day, I kept going and didn’t give up…and now with a week of recovery fun/workouts my body will have a chance to replenish and get doubly strong! 

I’m grateful I got to join the ride and I’m grateful I made it as far as I did!  And now I’m grateful for a week of sleeping in and eating dinner at a reasonable hour!  Ahhhh….

Ahhhhhhhh.......

It’s the official, unofficial start to SUMMER!  Can you say…it’s about time???  And this weekend did prove to be a summer weekend.  No rain, snow or howling winds!  It was spectacular…and long!  Four days of pure -heavenly training and recovering bliss!

Friday started out with a 30 mile run with the temps forecasted in the 90’s.  I hit Highline Canal at the Goodson Rec Center and was on the trail by 6:30am.  The sky was slightly overcast and the temp was already 60 degrees. 

Early Morning on the Highline Canal

At first I thought that I would run 3 x 10 miles.  Out 5 back 5- 3 times….About 4 miles into the run I decided I would rather get 15 miles out of the way my first time out, then run 10 miles and then finish off the 30 with the last 5. 

Sounded like a great idea and it actually was!  Mostly because of the mind game I was playing with myself.  Do you ever do that?  Play games with your perception?  It seems like a pre-requist to racing and training long distances….ya know…a 15 mile run, no problem; a 10 mile run, no problem; a 5 mile run, piece of cake….they just happen to all be in a row!!!

15 Miles and smiling

I knocked out the 15; reloaded at the car; knocked out the 10; got back to the car and had a Humongous blister on the bottom of my foot from a iny-tiny grain of dirt.  The blister started to change my gait around mile 23 and when I got to the car, I took a look at my foot and decided to go for my post-run swim…..didn’t finish the 30 but had a successful 25 miles of running.  Plus the temps were officially in the mid 90’s.  Did I mention how refreshing my 20 minute swim was?????  Ahhhhhhhhh

Saturday was a rest day!  I went to Boulder, got my weekly body work, enjoyed the festival and relaxed!

Sunday was back at-it!  4+ hour ride with a bunch of women! Oh yeah- remember that sore throat I had last weekend…well Sunday morning it decided to become a sinus infection……When I met up with everyone at Boulder Res I felt like crap.  I decided to start off easy and ride what I could. 

Lucky for me even though the sinus infection didn’t go away, I was eventually able to feel good enough to have a stellar ride out to Carter Lake and back.  I had a blast.  I was back on Black Betty (my Ordea Ordu) and we were flying! My training buddy, Sharon, and I rode the whole way together and just enjoyed the heck out of the day! 

Who's having FUN??? Not us :)

Back at the Res after 56 miles of pavement under our tires, I threw on my Newtons and hit a  hard 10 minute run.  I have NEVER run Hard off the bike- I was blown away by how I actually felt fine!  I was surprised!  I always thought I couldn’t run that fast off the bike…..but then- that’s why I have coach Andrea!  To help me learn new things about myself!

And then there was Monday.  Monday was all about the Honey-Do-List.  Can a  Honey Do List be a HDL when you’re writing it for yourself????  Anyway- I got through pruning trees and bushes in the front and back yards, and did all those piles of chores that I didn’t get to in the last year.  It felt fabulous to look around and see the piles gone and the trees trimmed.  I settled into my chair in the back yard and enjoyed the waterfall and the cool shade of the trees.  Another one of those AHHHHH moments.

I have the best backyard ever! Kai agrees!

For me, this was the best start to summer I can ever remember.  Two hard training days and two awesome rest days.  There is something to be said for having your “house in order” so that your training can just take off.  And with that….it’s time to take out the big guns and hit some pretty tough training in the next few  months…..but I’ma ready!!!

Awe shucks!  I got myself a sore throat this weekend and had to back out of my plans to run 30 miles….Darn 

When I woke up at 2:00am with a sore throat on Saturday I knew that I could be in for trouble if I didn’t take it easy this weekend.  Drag!  I had plans to volunteer for the whole morning at Project Homeless Connect, then get a 2 hour bike ride in, then wake up early on Sunday and run 30 miles with my coach. 

Well, my best laid plans went out the window again… So what I opted for instead was…….a weekend long session of the last season of LOST!  You see, I’d DVRed this whole season and had not seen one episode yet.  I have always liked watching 2 or 3 episodes in a row, rather than one weekly.  Usually I”ll begin watching LOST over the summer when there is nothing else on TV. 

Boo hoo...the final season

Since this Sunday was the final episode of the whole series, and I had nothing to do but lay low and lay on the couch, plus I didn’t want to come into work on Monday and have the finale spoiled for me….I watched all 12 or so season 6 episodes in two days…just in time for the finale last night!

What a finale!  We’ve been talking about it non-stop at work today.  Mixed feelings about being satisfied with the ending.  Personally, I love it!  I thought they did a great job and did justice to the show and the fans.    How I will miss catching glimpses of Sawyers abs………

How we shall miss ye!

So there ya have it!  A full weekend of training from the couch (although I did get an hour spin on the trainer in on Sunday). 

LOST  you will be missed!

Last Sunday I was scheduled to do my first bike ride in the mountains of the season. Not a super challenging ride, but a good one to start off with…..

I woke up that morning and the thing I really wanted to do was to crawl back in bed. But I got my stuff together and met my friend for the ride…..Still wanting to go back home and crawl into bed.

I thought how sometimes I feel this way but once I get going I start to come around and get moving just fine….Well this Sunday that was not the case.

I started off the easy- I mean easy “climb” up Deer Creek to the turnoff for High Grade. A few miles into the ride I was in my “granny gear”, I’m talkin “granny gear” with a triple front ring….and I was still struggling with that! I had absolutely NOTHING in me. When I got to High Grade I decided I should cut my losses and turn around and call it a day……Which is exactly what I did.

I got home and crawled into bed for a 1 hour nap….and woke up feeling a bit under the weather.
I talked to Coach Andrea and we decided I should take Monday off and play it day by day.

Well, with the way I felt Monday I made the executive decision to take 3 full days off….and to NOT feel guilty about it. I have slept in, not trained, eaten well, slept extra hours, enjoyed doing nothing and did I mention, slept?

Today is Wednsday, and I also took today off work. I slept 12 hours straight! It was wonderful to not have to wake up at any particular time…..I have relaxed and the most I did today was write this blog. Now that’s what I call a rest day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am somewhat feeling like I’m ready to get back to training, but I’m going to listen to my body. I have been going at it hard for over a year now, and have never taken 3 days off in a row…..and I may take another day off if that’s what my body is telling me tomorrow.

Learning to listen to your body is part of training. We work on our bodies, our nutrition and we have to work on our recovery too. My body spoke loud and clear on Sunday and I am glad I listened. I have a long season a head….all the way through November. 3 or more days off right now may be just what I need…actually- I know it is.

So here’s to taking a time out and being ok with that decision