I’m sitting here in DFW airport after spending a relaxing weekend with my BFF!

I swam 3K one day, ran 45 minutes another. And that was it for training.  The rest of the time I was a lazy slug and probably gained 50 pounds in 3 days! 

I slept in (10 hrs, 9 hrs, 8 hrs); watched some tv, and hung out with BFFs family. It was a wonderful relaxing 3 days!

Now, I know there’s some triathlete Texans out there, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out where y’all ride and run! With all the drivin around I did not see one bike lane.  Heck- I didn’t even see one cyclist. Granted I was in Arlington for the whole time…

Being outside of Colorado sure made me appreciate how good we have it. I couldn’t imagine trying to train for an Ironman down here! It’s just a whole different creature.

Now one of the things that I did find out Texans do marathon style is shopping!  Yeap. The malls are packed all day long!  And how would I know such a thing??  I had to do what the locals do and partook in some retail therapy.

I never have the time to do any shopping unless it’s to buy groceries or pick up something from TriBella. And that’s pushing it.

This weekend I had fun buying some items that I would NOT be swimming, biking, running in.  Its funny how spending $100 on a pair of running shoes is nothing…but a pair of jeans???  Heavens!  (And the jeans will last way longer!!)

So I’m now the proud owner of a pair of 7 For All Mankind jeans and an awesome, comfy pair of Frye boots! (Everything did have to be on sale though!)  Of course there’s a few new tops to go with the jeans

Well, a few more moments and I’ll be boarding my plane back home to Denver! I’m looking forward to waking up tomorrow and seeing all the athletes out and about….and I’ll be wearing my new jeans as I drive on by them on my way to work!

YeeHaw to DENVER!

-

After such a fabulous Colfax Half Marathon and a great week training….on Friday night I caught the Flu Bug. 

The next 5 days were spent consuming minimal food and barely making it to work.  I was bummed and felt like my whole season was lost!

I had to miss a big ride on Saturday due to the flu and by Monday I was sure that my season was over,that  I would not be in shape for Ironman Florida.  I seriously was depressed and feeling like I’d missed the most important thing in my training!   Like missing one thing and taking the week mostly off from training meant that I was too far behind now….I mean seriously…did I not learn anything from having Adrenal Fatigue????

As the week progressed and I began to feel better my depression began to lift especially after a talk with Coach Cary!  Isn’t it the best when your coach can always put thing into perspective???? 

Today is Friday…and as the long weekend looms, I have been sidelined by coach and will not be participating in all the big training that was on my schedule.  One long run is all I will be allowed to do.  (What a waste of  the extra day off! HA)

I do now see that a revamp of the training schedule will accommodate the missed sessions… and above all, I don’t want to end up back in Adrenal Fatigue land…..

So here is to perspective and letting go of catastrophizing and having a mellow weekend…..

Happy Memorial Day everyone!  Summer has officially started!

-

Reflection is a good thing.

That is as long as we use it to move us forward. If we reflect and dwell- well, that’s just not the best idea. Getting stuck in what shoulda, woulda, couldas, don’t do anyone a bit of good- except leave ya stuck in the past.

So this weekend I found myself reflecting on the past year. You see- today is exactly one year since I finished my first Ironman in Cozumel. Having had to drop out of racing and training mid season has left me forgetting that I am an Ironman. I have forgotten that I have it in me to do one of the hardest feats on this planet. I have forgotten that I am a bad a$$ athlete who is just temporarily sideline.

I’ve actually finally been doing what I should have done post Cozumel- taking a few months off to recover. The problem though is I gained 15lbs due to Adrenal Fatigue and if I’d taken the rest post IMCZ that more than likely wouldn’t have happened. But like I said- no dwelling in the past! Just using this as an opportunity to learn and grow.

So what’d I learn??? Recovery is key!! My old coach had a philosophy that more is better and recovery was minimal. Post IMCZ it would have benefited me if she had said “slow down Sparky and let’s take a break for a few months- especially since your Dad just died”. But that’s not what happened, and I didn’t know any better myself.  (Note to self)

Also, going on a restrictive “diet” post IM- not a good idea! You need to nourish and replenish your body for the months following an IM. Restricting nutrition further taxed my Adrenals making them work too hard.

Take your resting heart rate first thing in the morning. That would have helped me catch the fact that I was over-trained and over taxed. My new coach is big on this- my old coach never even knew or used my heart rate zones.

One thing that was really hard to tease out was my lack of motivation.  With my Dad passing away in January, I chalked my lack of motivation to grieving….Now I see it was the early signs of over-training-syndrome which then leads to adrenal fatigue. I’m just saying I’ve learned a lot of things in hind sight.  It’s those lessons that I’m trying to pass on here. 

One thing I know in life is if we don’t reflect on the pass, figure out what happened,  it can make it hard in the future to not make the same mistakes.  If I can help someone else from heading into Adrenal Fatigue land that would make this all worthwhile. 

So while I may have been sidelined for a few months, I still am an Ironman who had a blast and can’t wait to rock my next one…..And did I mention????  Ironman Florida 2011….here I come!

Crazy making…That’s what I’ve been going through in the last few weeks. Real, set your head spinning, crazy making.

You see…I seemed to have developed a case of insomnia due to getting better and not backing off some of my adrenal support supplements. At the time though I had no idea that this was the cause. All I knew is my sleep patterns where not so great anymore…then one night I actually didn’t sleep a wink. I freaked, called my doc and said “give me something…lorazepam, Ambien…anything”. Well, she obliged me with both and I was off to lala land…

I feel in love with Ambien for the 10 days she prescribed it. I was sleeping again. Only problem, after those 10 days I was chasing sleep again. I asked for more and she again obliged, and that knock ya out sleep was mine again.

You might be thinking…so what’s the problem??? Being sensitive to meds and such, I then developed the side effect of anxiety. Mind you, I have never been an anxious person and here I was with jaw aching, body rattling anxiety!!!

I finally had a moment of clarity and realized the Ambien was the cause and quickly stopped it. Around this time I had just done all the tests to see how I was recovering from Adrenal Fatigue…The good news is my adrenal function is back in range and all other levels were also!!!
That is except my overnight cortisol levels which were sky high! (15 when the range is 1-3). No wonder I wasn’t sleeping!!!

That’s when my nutritionist and I decide it was time to stop all supplements and focus on bringing down my overnight cortisol levels. I’m about 4 days into this at the moment. So far, I sleep great one night, next night I’m challenged with having a hard time falling asleep…..

Now I’m a firm believer in silver linings and growing from every experience. From this experience so far I’m taking a greater understanding for the people I work with who have mental illness. What it’s like to be on meds and have side effects. What it’s like to have sleep challenges, and mainly how messed up having anxiety is!! How hard it can be.

I know it’s going to be a few weeks. I’ve been off Ambien 10 days, off Lorazepam for 5 days, and off supplements for 4 days. One thing I would share from this…if you ever hit a rough patch…Ambien is a wicked drug!!! Hang in there and try to get through it without medication! As my nutritionist told me “no one ever died from not sleeping”. Boy that helped to hear that…

Right now, its Sunday and I’m writing this sitting on a plane bound to Hartford, Ct. Work is sending me to a DBT training for a week. I’m going to spend 40 hours learning Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. Perfect timing I’d say!!!

I love how God, the Universe, whatever you call it- always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it!!! I’m right where I’m suppose to be, experiencing exactly what I’m suppose to be experiencing. I know this will pass and I will be a better person for it.

With challenges comes the opportunity to grow. Isn’t that why we do this crazy thing we call triathlon? For the challenge, the growth. Well, I’m just getting to grow in a different way!!!!

Bring it on!!! I’m an Ironman!

Life can take us in many different directions.  We also get opportunities to decide which directions we might take.

I was thinking about this a lot last week.  I decided to post a “direction” question on Facebook each day and see what people responded.
The questions where: left or right; up or down; forward or backward; yes or no.

Lately with having to stop being an athlete I feel as if I’m headed in a direction I didn’t decide on. What I DO get to decide on is what direction(s) I take from here.
Do I decide to go left or right? Do I go left and follow the path of no training and lots of rest? Or do I go right and just keep training and rest a bit more than I use to?

Do I decide to go up or down? Do I stay up and keep a positive attitude and trust that at the end of this I will be in a better place? That something good will come out of this time? Or do I get down and wallow in self pity? Do I think life sucks and why me, my life is over?

Do I decide forward or backward?  Do I look forward and believe in what lies before me is exactly what I need to do and where I need to be?  Or do I look backwards and kick myself in the @$$ for not realizing that something was wrong sooner?  For not taking more time off after the Ironman, for not……the list goes on?

Do I decide yes or no?  Do I say yes to what is being suggested I do? Do I say yes to the new and different adventure I’m on as my body heals?  Or do I say NO!  I’m not going to listen to anyone and I’m going to do it MY way and the heck with you all!     Or….. is it that I say No to exercise and Yes to resting and recovery?

There are so many moments in life, both big and small, where we get to choose the direction we will take.  We are constantly deciding the ups and downs, yes and nos, left and rights, forwards and backwards.  They come at us, and we don’t even know they’re there.  We just decide.  And then there are the times when life leads us in the direction we didn’t really want, and we take some time to think, and then make the decision on how we are going to be.

It’s not always easy.  It’s not always pretty.  And sometimes we might decide one thing and then switch our minds….but the beauty of life is, that we do have the chance to choose.  We do have the chance to be.

Just be-ing

This last Thursday I met again with the nutritionist who is guiding me through getting my adrenals back on track (along with Dr Shyelle).  I got some good news…and not so good news.

I've officially got Adrenal Fatigue

The good news is my adrenals are not so far gone that they are barely functioning.  They are not functioning great, but not horrendous.  (I’ve got mild Adrenal Fatigue).  There is a lot of hope that I will be much better soon and able to get in the training for next June’s Ironman.

The not so good news is…..I basically can not exercise for at least two months.  Seriously.  No exercise as I know it!  Wow…what a mind f#^$.  Holy cow, from Ironman training to basically nothing.  Yeap.  I can only “exercise” 5 days a week.  I put “exercise” because what I can do is really limited. 

What I’ve found out is basically I can’t get my heart rate over 90 BPM for any sustained length of time.  I CAN do- easy yoga; an easy walk; easy weight workout; and easy Pilates.  That’s it.  And nothing can be longer than 30 mins 45 tops!  Is that wild or what.  From 7 hr bike rides to 30 minute walks.  Well, turn my world up side down!

So…what am I going to do?  As I got this news and learned more about adrenal fatigue over the past few weeks, I’ve realized I can either continue to feel like crap- or I can do what these professionals are saying.  I’ve opted to follow their plan.  A little exercise, as much sleep as possible, and nutrition that supports adrenal restoration. 

This is going to be a new adventure.  Right now I’m doing ok with the not exercising.  Honestly because I’m really tired.  I don’t mind sleeping and resting right now.  In a month from now, as I begin to feel better…it may be another story. 

It’s hard to not be out there training with all my friends…and it will take some effort on my part to stay connected.  I’m kinda looking forward to this adventure.  I call it an adventure because what will occur is unknown.  I’m sure I will change through this process and I’m kinda looking forward to what those changes may be. 

Sometime when I think about the name I gave my blog over one year ago- Going The Distance- I thought the name would represent all the miles I would cover training for and racing in an Ironman.  Little did I know those words would hold true in so many different areas of my life….and with that—-

I’ve got a confession.  I’m kinda embarrassed about publicizing this, yet I will in the hopes that it may help someone in the future. 

I’ve decided not to do Ironman Loiusville this year.  I have canceled the race, flight and lodging.  There is no turning back and changing my mind. 

Why you may ask……and here is the why….

Remember back in April when I wrote the postabout my first race of the season?  Well, looking back I think that was an indicator of how things would go this season. 

This whole season, since April I have just NOT felt “right”.  At first I chalked it up to being depressed following my Dad’s passing.  But as the months went on things got worse.  My workouts got worse, my zest for life got worse, my energy got worse….

I went from having good workouts that I felt stellar in to barely making it through one.  And afterwards I would be exhausted.  And if I did a “big” workout..forget about it. I was wiped out for a few days!  Not only did my workouts suffer, but I started putting on weight.  Well, fat really.  And I was eating “clean” and not pigging out! 

As the weeks went on I finally had that intuitive thought that “somethings not right.  This isn’t just mental, but something physical is not right with me.”  My guess was that something was going on hormonally (I’m officially through menopause a few months back) and I began asking people for referrals. 

I found a nutritionist and a Dr who specializes in hormones and promptly went to work with them to get to the bottom of things.  Well, it turns out that my adrenal glands are not functioning at full capacity and therefore my hormones (which where already low) are all screwy.  Plus my cortisol levels are wacky hence all the abdominal fat that has appeared without the benefit of eating tons of ice cream or something fun like that!

By the time I met with these professionals, I was barely able to get through a work day, let alone a workout….I just knew that an Ironman this year would put me in a much worse deficit….so, see ya later Louisville!  This was not an easy choice.  I mean it was hard to let go of doing another Ironman.  I really wanted to do it, but knew my body would be in worse condition if I did. From what these professionals I’m paying good money told me, I made the right decision.

So what does all that me for Go Doreen???  Well,  I immediately started a hormone protocol with Bio-identical hormones.  The very next day I was feeling better…no $HIT!  Not fabulous, but I felt rested for the first time in months.  I’m also starting to work with the nutritionist on how to support my glands using food to do so.  It will be a process, but hey, it’s better than the alternative of NOTHING.

What else this means is that Ironman Louisville has  been substituted for Coeur d’Alene!!!!!  Yeap, I’m signed up for IMCDA 2011!  I am so psyched about that. 

So the game plan is, to take the next few months to do things that are fun for me.  Keep my base with the swim, bike, run, but scale things down a bit to let my body heal.  I hiked a 13er a few weeks ago and this past weekend rode the Boulder 70.3 bike course and felt great!  I have not felt that good in a workout in months! 

I’m also going to be doing the Harvest Moon Long Course in Sept and Nationals Long Course in Oct.  This is all dependent though on how I’m feeling and how the tests come back.  But if all goes well these will send me into my training for IMCDA.  I feel hopeful that I will come out of this strong and feeling like myself again.  It helps a lot knowing that CDA is on the books for next year, since I’m out of IM this year.

What I’ve learned during this process, is it’s hard as a dedicated triathlete to listen.  To really listen to our bodies and hear what it’s telling us.  The signs are always there.  I know they were for me, I’d just kept hoping they would go away!  After a few months though I just knew I had to listen and find out what was going on.  I am really glad I did.  It’s not easy to do so.  It’s wasn’t easy to say “I can’t do Louisville this year”.  I mean that was REALLY tough! I wrestled with it for  a long time.  I kept hoping I’d feel better.  But I didn’t…but now I do.  I am starting to feel better.  And I know, I will feel great at some point in the future.  I am glad I’m taking care of myself now, so I can have more fun later!

I HIT IT.  I HIT the training Wall this weekend.  I hit that point where it took everything I had in me to get my workout done…and it was not a pretty sight. 

The past 6 weeks have been a mad push of building both my run and bike with a few races thrown in the mix.  I have had back to back big weekends followed by plenty of training during the week.  And as a result I HIT IT! 

I hit that point where I knew without a doubt that I had nothing left in the tank for any more workouts!  I hit that point where I needed a week of doing whatever and recovery.  I physically hit that point where I had nothing left in my legs!  After 2.5 years of training for triathlons I finally hit the spot where my body needed the rest! 

I had a mental wall I hit last February and took one week off….but this time my mind is in the game, but I body is screaming differently.  I didn’t even know I was cooked until I attempted to ride the Copper Triangle on Saturday with some friends. 

There were six of us who headed out for a SAG supported ride.  The day was perfect; the weather perfect; the company perfect! 

Ready to Ride Copper Triangle

We set off to ride up Vail Pass.  I started off like I would normally on a long ride,  riding a nice easy speed, letting everything warm up.  Nothing felt different…just the typical thick feeling in my legs.  I didn’t think much of it…just the slow steady warm up…..

As we began to ride through Minturn I started to get a clue that something was not right.  I was still feeling like I had lead for legs and by now I would have usually been warmed up.  I mean…there is barely an incline through Minturn and I was feeling as if I was climbing Mt Evans or something!  Needless to say my ability to ride got worse from there! 

Top of Tennesse Pass....

Tennesse Pass felt like Mt Everst!  I’m not kidding!  It was an all out struggle to get up the Pass.  I had nothing in my legs.  I wanted to stop so many times and then would not.  I would keep going…some how.  I am not sure how I acutally pulled this ride off.  Even on the flats I could barely ride!  I was telling my riding mates that I was “toast”!  Well finally I became “burnt toast” and took my turn SAGging for the last 2 miles of Freemont Pass on back to the parking lot.  I barely had anything left in my legs for walking! 

This was a really interesting experience for me.  I have never been to the point of being “done”.  Like having nothing left and knowing it’s time to take a recovery week.  I’ve had difficult workouts, but my body always comes around.  That didn’t happen this time.  There was no point in the ride when I “warmed up”.  I was done and there was nothing left!  I know this ride will make me stronger, both physically and mentally.  I made it through the day, I kept going and didn’t give up…and now with a week of recovery fun/workouts my body will have a chance to replenish and get doubly strong! 

I’m grateful I got to join the ride and I’m grateful I made it as far as I did!  And now I’m grateful for a week of sleeping in and eating dinner at a reasonable hour!  Ahhhh….

Ahhhhhhhh.......

It’s the official, unofficial start to SUMMER!  Can you say…it’s about time???  And this weekend did prove to be a summer weekend.  No rain, snow or howling winds!  It was spectacular…and long!  Four days of pure -heavenly training and recovering bliss!

Friday started out with a 30 mile run with the temps forecasted in the 90′s.  I hit Highline Canal at the Goodson Rec Center and was on the trail by 6:30am.  The sky was slightly overcast and the temp was already 60 degrees. 

Early Morning on the Highline Canal

At first I thought that I would run 3 x 10 miles.  Out 5 back 5- 3 times….About 4 miles into the run I decided I would rather get 15 miles out of the way my first time out, then run 10 miles and then finish off the 30 with the last 5. 

Sounded like a great idea and it actually was!  Mostly because of the mind game I was playing with myself.  Do you ever do that?  Play games with your perception?  It seems like a pre-requist to racing and training long distances….ya know…a 15 mile run, no problem; a 10 mile run, no problem; a 5 mile run, piece of cake….they just happen to all be in a row!!!

15 Miles and smiling

I knocked out the 15; reloaded at the car; knocked out the 10; got back to the car and had a Humongous blister on the bottom of my foot from a iny-tiny grain of dirt.  The blister started to change my gait around mile 23 and when I got to the car, I took a look at my foot and decided to go for my post-run swim…..didn’t finish the 30 but had a successful 25 miles of running.  Plus the temps were officially in the mid 90′s.  Did I mention how refreshing my 20 minute swim was?????  Ahhhhhhhhh

Saturday was a rest day!  I went to Boulder, got my weekly body work, enjoyed the festival and relaxed!

Sunday was back at-it!  4+ hour ride with a bunch of women! Oh yeah- remember that sore throat I had last weekend…well Sunday morning it decided to become a sinus infection……When I met up with everyone at Boulder Res I felt like crap.  I decided to start off easy and ride what I could. 

Lucky for me even though the sinus infection didn’t go away, I was eventually able to feel good enough to have a stellar ride out to Carter Lake and back.  I had a blast.  I was back on Black Betty (my Ordea Ordu) and we were flying! My training buddy, Sharon, and I rode the whole way together and just enjoyed the heck out of the day! 

Who's having FUN??? Not us

Back at the Res after 56 miles of pavement under our tires, I threw on my Newtons and hit a  hard 10 minute run.  I have NEVER run Hard off the bike- I was blown away by how I actually felt fine!  I was surprised!  I always thought I couldn’t run that fast off the bike…..but then- that’s why I have coach Andrea!  To help me learn new things about myself!

And then there was Monday.  Monday was all about the Honey-Do-List.  Can a  Honey Do List be a HDL when you’re writing it for yourself????  Anyway- I got through pruning trees and bushes in the front and back yards, and did all those piles of chores that I didn’t get to in the last year.  It felt fabulous to look around and see the piles gone and the trees trimmed.  I settled into my chair in the back yard and enjoyed the waterfall and the cool shade of the trees.  Another one of those AHHHHH moments.

I have the best backyard ever! Kai agrees!

For me, this was the best start to summer I can ever remember.  Two hard training days and two awesome rest days.  There is something to be said for having your “house in order” so that your training can just take off.  And with that….it’s time to take out the big guns and hit some pretty tough training in the next few  months…..but I’ma ready!!!

Awe shucks!  I got myself a sore throat this weekend and had to back out of my plans to run 30 miles….Darn 

When I woke up at 2:00am with a sore throat on Saturday I knew that I could be in for trouble if I didn’t take it easy this weekend.  Drag!  I had plans to volunteer for the whole morning at Project Homeless Connect, then get a 2 hour bike ride in, then wake up early on Sunday and run 30 miles with my coach. 

Well, my best laid plans went out the window again… So what I opted for instead was…….a weekend long session of the last season of LOST!  You see, I’d DVRed this whole season and had not seen one episode yet.  I have always liked watching 2 or 3 episodes in a row, rather than one weekly.  Usually I”ll begin watching LOST over the summer when there is nothing else on TV. 

Boo hoo...the final season

Since this Sunday was the final episode of the whole series, and I had nothing to do but lay low and lay on the couch, plus I didn’t want to come into work on Monday and have the finale spoiled for me….I watched all 12 or so season 6 episodes in two days…just in time for the finale last night!

What a finale!  We’ve been talking about it non-stop at work today.  Mixed feelings about being satisfied with the ending.  Personally, I love it!  I thought they did a great job and did justice to the show and the fans.    How I will miss catching glimpses of Sawyers abs………

How we shall miss ye!

So there ya have it!  A full weekend of training from the couch (although I did get an hour spin on the trainer in on Sunday). 

LOST  you will be missed!