Crazy making…That’s what I’ve been going through in the last few weeks. Real, set your head spinning, crazy making.

You see…I seemed to have developed a case of insomnia due to getting better and not backing off some of my adrenal support supplements. At the time though I had no idea that this was the cause. All I knew is my sleep patterns where not so great anymore…then one night I actually didn’t sleep a wink. I freaked, called my doc and said “give me something…lorazepam, Ambien…anything”. Well, she obliged me with both and I was off to lala land…

I feel in love with Ambien for the 10 days she prescribed it. I was sleeping again. Only problem, after those 10 days I was chasing sleep again. I asked for more and she again obliged, and that knock ya out sleep was mine again.

You might be thinking…so what’s the problem??? Being sensitive to meds and such, I then developed the side effect of anxiety. Mind you, I have never been an anxious person and here I was with jaw aching, body rattling anxiety!!!

I finally had a moment of clarity and realized the Ambien was the cause and quickly stopped it. Around this time I had just done all the tests to see how I was recovering from Adrenal Fatigue…The good news is my adrenal function is back in range and all other levels were also!!!
That is except my overnight cortisol levels which were sky high! (15 when the range is 1-3). No wonder I wasn’t sleeping!!!

That’s when my nutritionist and I decide it was time to stop all supplements and focus on bringing down my overnight cortisol levels. I’m about 4 days into this at the moment. So far, I sleep great one night, next night I’m challenged with having a hard time falling asleep…..

Now I’m a firm believer in silver linings and growing from every experience. From this experience so far I’m taking a greater understanding for the people I work with who have mental illness. What it’s like to be on meds and have side effects. What it’s like to have sleep challenges, and mainly how messed up having anxiety is!! How hard it can be.

I know it’s going to be a few weeks. I’ve been off Ambien 10 days, off Lorazepam for 5 days, and off supplements for 4 days. One thing I would share from this…if you ever hit a rough patch…Ambien is a wicked drug!!! Hang in there and try to get through it without medication! As my nutritionist told me “no one ever died from not sleeping”. Boy that helped to hear that…

Right now, its Sunday and I’m writing this sitting on a plane bound to Hartford, Ct. Work is sending me to a DBT training for a week. I’m going to spend 40 hours learning Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. Perfect timing I’d say!!!

I love how God, the Universe, whatever you call it- always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it!!! I’m right where I’m suppose to be, experiencing exactly what I’m suppose to be experiencing. I know this will pass and I will be a better person for it.

With challenges comes the opportunity to grow. Isn’t that why we do this crazy thing we call triathlon? For the challenge, the growth. Well, I’m just getting to grow in a different way!!!!

Bring it on!!! I’m an Ironman!

Holy cow.  This past Sunday was Ironman Louisville and boy am I tired  (hahahah). 

Let me tell ya how it went!

The Swim was interesting.  A total of 800 yrds on Thursday started off this Ironman …..

The Big Swim!

Followed by a total of 60 mins Friday on my bike while sitting on the trainer.  My average heart rate was a whopping 84 bpm!! 

Fat Bottomed....yeap!

 Next I was off for the final leg…a walk with the dog!  After all that swimming, biking, I had to get the walk in!  How was I going to finish 30 mins of walking the dog????

In all seriousness……Who would have thought that I would be sitting out my second Ironman?  I never would have.  This was a kinda hard week…knowing that Wed I would have been leaving, Sunday I would have been racing. 

But that is how life goes isn’t it?  Instead I had a spectacular strength training workout and a lovely restorative yoga class. 

Yeap, I’m back to “training”.  Although not in the way we triathletes are use to.  My “program” looks like this

Monday: 30 min easy walk in the morning, Restorative Yoga in the pm.  Tuesday: Rest   Wednesday: 30 min easy walk in the AM, Strength Training during lunch. Thursday: 30 min swim at lunch; Friday: Rest; Saturday: Restorative Yoga; Sunday: Strength Training  and a 1 hr spin on the trainer.                                                                                                                                                                    

I must say it feels nice to be following a program again.  Oh ya, and with that…I’ve hired a new coach!!!  Her name is Cary Kinross-Wright with Endurance Performance Coaching! 

There where some things that I felt I needed and was on the hunt for a new coach that incorporated strength training and recovery into their training plans.    I also wanted a coach who has worked with athletes coming back from Adrenal Fatigue.  So when I met with Cary and she told me she was also diagnosed with Adrenal Fatigue and know a lot about it…first hand.  I knew it would be a perfect match!  I’m looking forward to a new perspective on training and getting healthy again and feel I’m in the right hands to make a great comeback for next season.

Ironmans come and go.  Hopefully this will be the last one I have to sit out.  In the mean time, I’m becoming addicted to Restorative Yoga and who knows what more I’ll learn about myself.

I’ve got a confession.  I’m kinda embarrassed about publicizing this, yet I will in the hopes that it may help someone in the future. 

I’ve decided not to do Ironman Loiusville this year.  I have canceled the race, flight and lodging.  There is no turning back and changing my mind. 

Why you may ask……and here is the why….

Remember back in April when I wrote the postabout my first race of the season?  Well, looking back I think that was an indicator of how things would go this season. 

This whole season, since April I have just NOT felt “right”.  At first I chalked it up to being depressed following my Dad’s passing.  But as the months went on things got worse.  My workouts got worse, my zest for life got worse, my energy got worse….

I went from having good workouts that I felt stellar in to barely making it through one.  And afterwards I would be exhausted.  And if I did a “big” workout..forget about it. I was wiped out for a few days!  Not only did my workouts suffer, but I started putting on weight.  Well, fat really.  And I was eating “clean” and not pigging out! 

As the weeks went on I finally had that intuitive thought that “somethings not right.  This isn’t just mental, but something physical is not right with me.”  My guess was that something was going on hormonally (I’m officially through menopause a few months back) and I began asking people for referrals. 

I found a nutritionist and a Dr who specializes in hormones and promptly went to work with them to get to the bottom of things.  Well, it turns out that my adrenal glands are not functioning at full capacity and therefore my hormones (which where already low) are all screwy.  Plus my cortisol levels are wacky hence all the abdominal fat that has appeared without the benefit of eating tons of ice cream or something fun like that!

By the time I met with these professionals, I was barely able to get through a work day, let alone a workout….I just knew that an Ironman this year would put me in a much worse deficit….so, see ya later Louisville!  This was not an easy choice.  I mean it was hard to let go of doing another Ironman.  I really wanted to do it, but knew my body would be in worse condition if I did. From what these professionals I’m paying good money told me, I made the right decision.

So what does all that me for Go Doreen???  Well,  I immediately started a hormone protocol with Bio-identical hormones.  The very next day I was feeling better…no $HIT!  Not fabulous, but I felt rested for the first time in months.  I’m also starting to work with the nutritionist on how to support my glands using food to do so.  It will be a process, but hey, it’s better than the alternative of NOTHING.

What else this means is that Ironman Louisville has  been substituted for Coeur d’Alene!!!!!  Yeap, I’m signed up for IMCDA 2011!  I am so psyched about that. 

So the game plan is, to take the next few months to do things that are fun for me.  Keep my base with the swim, bike, run, but scale things down a bit to let my body heal.  I hiked a 13er a few weeks ago and this past weekend rode the Boulder 70.3 bike course and felt great!  I have not felt that good in a workout in months! 

I’m also going to be doing the Harvest Moon Long Course in Sept and Nationals Long Course in Oct.  This is all dependent though on how I’m feeling and how the tests come back.  But if all goes well these will send me into my training for IMCDA.  I feel hopeful that I will come out of this strong and feeling like myself again.  It helps a lot knowing that CDA is on the books for next year, since I’m out of IM this year.

What I’ve learned during this process, is it’s hard as a dedicated triathlete to listen.  To really listen to our bodies and hear what it’s telling us.  The signs are always there.  I know they were for me, I’d just kept hoping they would go away!  After a few months though I just knew I had to listen and find out what was going on.  I am really glad I did.  It’s not easy to do so.  It’s wasn’t easy to say “I can’t do Louisville this year”.  I mean that was REALLY tough! I wrestled with it for  a long time.  I kept hoping I’d feel better.  But I didn’t…but now I do.  I am starting to feel better.  And I know, I will feel great at some point in the future.  I am glad I’m taking care of myself now, so I can have more fun later!

This weekend my training got kicked up a notch.  Yeap- the serious part of Ironman Training is ON!  I mean ON!!!  E-Rock (Elephant Rock Century Ride) was the kickoff to back to back to back fun! 

Saturday I warmed up for E-Rock with a 15 mile run on the Highline Canal.  Another wonderful shaded run in scorching heat.

Sunday morning found me waiting in a long line of cars to get to the fairgrounds in Castle Rock to start the ride.  I was riding with my bud Sharon again.  We weren’t so green and took two cars.  Sharon was doing her first century and my instruction was to “race” this ride. 

Ready to Ride!

 We got our selves and our bikes ready and started rolling at 7:00 am.  Now Elephant Rock is an event.  It’s not a race, it’s an event.  There are people riding who are doing a 65 or 100 mile bike ride for the first time, and some who are have done E-Rock a few times. 

What beauty!!

The reason I bring this up is that many people complain about how crowded it is; how people don’t know how to ride correctly…Heck, there are even  bad-a$$ cyclist (or so they think) who come by screaming at people for doing something they don’t like.  IT’S AN EVENT PEOPLE!    CHILL OUT!  Everyone is doing the best they can on that day and for each person it’s their own personal challenge, even hell at times.  I am sooooo much more impressed and inspired by an overweight person on a mountain bike riding the 65 mile course than I am of some 6% bodyfat athlete in their cycling kit!!!!  Who gives a crud if you don’t like how people are riding.  This day is NOT about YOU! 

This day IS about camaraderie and friendly people though.  This day IS about wonderful volunteers and hard working regular folks.  It’s about making a new friend as you pedal hard up a hill or fly on the downhills.  It’s about saying “Thank you” to every volunteer you meet.  It’s also about giving encouraging words to those you pass.  It’s about doing something that challenges and pushes you.  It’s about 6000 feet of climbing and 100 miles of pavement.  It’s about giving your all AND having fun!

One of the Aide Stations

 E-Rock was like that this year for me.  I had a wonderful time and once again met some great people.  Riding E-Rock hard this year was tough at times.  I remember thinking to myself as I was climbing some hill, “Am I going to be able to make this?”  “Am I going to be able to finish?”  I was able to make it, and I was able to finish. And I had a fabulous, hard time! 

The nice thing about E-Rock is eventually the crowds thin out and you end up riding alone often.  It really is just you, your bike, and your mind for most of the ride.  I didn’t have a lot of time to enjoy the views or chat much with people (another one of my instructions was “NO Lollygagging!”).  And me being the “good” athlete  I tried to keep that to a minimun. 

A perfect day

Elephant Rock was wonderful and I highly recommend it.  Yeah it’s crowded, just bring your patience for the first 20 miles….Remember it’s an event and there are people who are doing something this hard for the first time.  Be Kind, Say Thank You, and most of all Enjoy Yourself!

Here’s something I thought about this weekend as I was taking my dog for a walk around the neighborhood. 

Do you ever think about what life would be like to NOT be a triathlete?

I had that thought.  You see over the weekend I had two days off from training.  Yeap, two whole days!  It was incredible.  I slept in until 7:45 both mornings, had a leisurely breakfast and went about my day at a slow pace.  I parked my car in the garage Friday night and didn’t get back into it until Monday morning.  I didn’t have to go anywhere or meet anyone for two glorious days!

One of the things I’ve learned about my needs over the past two years of triathloning (is that a word?) is every once in a while I need one weekend day as a rest day.  This helps me get caught up on stuff around the house and I also end up feeling like I had a real day off. Usually my rest days are during the week when I’m working….so yes, they are rest days from training, but not a “day off”.

So as I lay around in my pj’s and watched some tv while I tended to chores I started to envy people who don’t do triathlons. 

Ahhh.....The Average Jane Athlete Life

“How Outrageous!” you might say to yourself.  But I did.  I actually started to miss the time when I was just an average “Jane”.  Where all I would do was go lift weights 2-3 times a week for an hour, and then do some type of cardio 3-4 days a week.   Life was sooo simple then.  I had plenty of free time, I had weekends to lay around, I had time to read a book……you get the picture.

When I put it in those terms, I have to ask myself – why in the world would I want to put myself through the paces and training of being a triathlete and an long distance triathlete at that?

As I sit here writing this the one phrase that keeps coming to mind is- because I get to push myself!   With pushing myself I get to expand myself.  I get to know myself better.  I get to face my insecurities.  I get to see just what I’m made of!

A friend came over and brought lunch on Saturday.  As we were talking she said that she didn’t think her body would be capable of doing  the mileage that I do in my training.  My response was, “you don’t know until you try.”  See, I had no idea I could run 30 miles or bike 100′s of miles.  But if I had not tried I would not have known.  If I had just accepted my fears and not pushed through my insecurities I would never have known that I am capable of running 30+ miles or of finishing an Ironman.

While I secretly may envy the average Joe and Jane athlete….in my heart I am an endurance junkie!  I want to continue to see “what I’m made of”.  I want to expand my idea of myself.  I want to continue to push through my insecurities.  I want to explore the land untraveled…..

And while it may sound inviting to be an average “Jane” athlete again the truth is, I really do like the millions of hours of training I do.  I love seeing what I’m made of.  I love (ok Like) facing my fears and self doubts….I continue to be committed to Going The Distance.

Alright…so we’ve all done it.  You know- that little thing you didn’t listen to while training.  That little “ow”.  That little “ow” that becomes a “tweek”…..

That’s what I did on Tuesday at Masters Swimming.  I was running late and didn’t get there in time to warm up (packing my food for the day).  I started right off with the one arm drills the coach was prescribing.  Almost immediately my right shoulder started “popping” a bit…but I continued on with the 25 meters of drill…and then for fun- did it one more time. 

Nothing hurt  much during the workout but then later I could feel I had done something to my shoulder.  And this happens to be the same shoulder I had surgery on to cut the upper bicep tendon three years ago….

Now here’s where the tweekin comes in….Not only did I “tweek” my shoulder- but I full on start tweekin in my head!  I start thinking, “Oh no!  I’m going to need surgery!  I’m not going to be able to swim again!  I’m not going to be able to do my Ironman”.  Blah, blah, blah, blah.  The list goes on and on!

The first thing I did do though was to call Dr Ken at Active Care  and make an appointment to see him that day.  Dr Ken first put my shoulder back in the correct spot, then had me come back a few days later for some more care.  His prognosis- I pinched my rotator cuff and should keep using my shoulder, but warm up good! 

Today I went back to Masters and took my time with a few hundreds to warm up.  Our workout today was longer sets 125s and such.  I could feel my shoulder a bit during the workout, but nothing that felt like a “tweek”.  Afterwards I was a bit sore- iced it for awhile- and called Dr Ken to confirm that all would be ok  (he said my shoulder was going to be fine).

Tweekin is no fun.  It’s no fun to do and no fun to let run wild in my mind.  One thing I did learn from this is to always properly warm up!  I know this is important for everyone- but now that I’ll officially be over 50 in a few days, I really need to pay attention to my warm ups!  It’s just not worth loosing energy and training time over….So here’s to those darn warm ups and making  the extra time they take.

I'm goin in!

This morning as I was getting ready to go to work I thought about how much time and effort it takes just to get ready for the day.  See, this being a triathlete stuff can have it’s challenges outside of the actual workouts. 

Take for example today.  I got up at 5:30 so I could leave the house by 7:30.  Now you might be shaking your head thinking- “Shoot- this crazy triathlon chick must take forever to get dressed and put her makeup on!” …..WRONG!   That part takes me about 20 minutes…..Now you’re wondering- “So what the heck takes sooooo long???”  Well, let me explain-

I get up in the morning make some tea and start the process of packing ALL my food for the day.  Yeap- that’s what takes so long.  I first put together my lunch (today was a large salad, tuna fish, apple); a snack (celery, guac, turkey); breakfast (Paleo pancake, berries, spinach & canadian bacon)…….

Add to that- today following work I go straight to Peak to Peak Performance Center for a Computrainer class.  This adds some time due to packing Pre and Post workout food (banana and hard boiled egg Pre;  juice & protein powder Post). 

My food for the day

Alright- I’ve got ALL my food for the day- now to pack my gear!  Today this means putting my TT Bike in the car (dear Ol Black Betty!) and grabbing my cycling shoes and clothes.  Oh yeah- did I mention I’m going to lift weights at the gym during lunch??? I better pack those clothes too!!  And don’t forget to bring socks!!  (I don’t know how many times I’ve forgotten this little article of clothing).

So there you have it!  All that takes a good hour for me to get together!  And now you are probably thinking- “well why doesn’t she just get everything ready the night before?”.  And here’s the why….I workout at night or have bodywork done and get home about 8:00pm and need to eat and then like to be in on my way to sleep by 9:30…And let’s be honest-  I love my veg-out time with some tv-   plus, I’m much more of a morning person and my eyelids start shutting at 9:00 anyway!

Now, one thing I do for my meal pre that helps a TON is I prepare all my food for the week on Sunday evenings.  This week I baked  spaghetti squash, a pork loin, Jenni-O turkey breast, and some Paleo cookies.  Then I cooked about 3 lbs of asparagus, some brussel sprouts,  1 lb of zucchini and yummy spaghetti sauce with ground beef.  I then made 5 Paleo Pancakes for breakfast all through the week…..All of this took me about 2 hours total to prepare.  Can you imagine how much longer the mornings would take me if I didn’t do this on Sundays???!!!!

Nutrition plays a very important role in being a triathlete.  About this time last year I was eating whatever I wanted.  I was having muffins, eating out a lot, you name it.   As I got closer to my first Ironman I began to realized that eating “clean” made a difference with my big workouts I was doing.  If I ate muffins and ate out frequently- my performance while training suffered.  If I ate clean- I had much more power and endurance during my long hours training. 

Since last summer, I’m convinced that eating clean and preparing all my food to take with me, is key to maintaining the level of training that I strive for.  I use to fool myself into thinking it didn’t matter- but it does.  What I put in my mouth effects my workouts…..And even though it would be easier to stop by Starbuck to grab breakfast, and Chipolte for lunch- this just doesn’t work for me.  It may for some, but I would challenge that as I use to believe it worked for me too.  Today- not so much!

So- I’ll get off work today- train- get up early and pack my meals for the day-go to Masters-head to work- and continue daily with my morning routine……And by the way, just out of curiosity- What’s your morning routine?????

Tis officially the opening of my 2010 training season.  I started the year off back on my offical training plan after a month of relaxing and recovering from my first Ironman.  Not sure what I enjoyed most….the Ironman itself- or the excuse of not having to follow a training plan for one whole month!  (Hands down the Ironman itself wins!!!! )

I spent my down time relaxing, sleeping in, went to a movie, visited friends, training 30 mins to an hour a day, and losing some fat!  Yeap- I lost 3% body fat over the holidays!  How cool is that!  Some people thought it was kinda strange it “diet” during the holidays…but I am glad I did!  I don’t have to worry about those infamous 5lbs that can be gained from Thanksgiving to New Years….I actually have come through the holidays leaner and a bit lighter (I am going back to ditching the scale).

January is starting off with about 1 hour of exercise per day and will build to a 26 mile run from Littleton to Golden on January 23rd.  I am looking forward to a big run this month.  I love the feel of being in motion for that long….something I have missed in the last month. 

I am excited for what the new year may bring….snowshoe races, ultramarathons, another Ironman….and the company of many amazing friends and fellow athletes….

Here we are at the close of another year. 

 Heck, we’re done with a whole other decade!  It seems like just a few years ago we were worried about what would happen on New Years Eve of the new millennium.

The end of an old year is a time of reflection and then looking at what the next year might bring.

This past year was interesting to say the least. The year began with a commitment to completing my first Ironman; then a divorce; followed by a summer and fall of family leave from work to care for my father as he went through cancer treatment. To say this year was a year of unexpected occurrences is an understatement.  I never thought when I signed up for my first Ironman that I would be faced with these other challenges.  I thought the hardest thing would be getting all the training done….well- I got all the training done and navigated this past year. 

As I look toward the coming new year I now know that I may set out to achieve certain goals or think that my life may play out a certain way….yet no matter how much I plan things….life will happen, won’t it?

So that is why I’ve decided to spend some time reflecting on what my New Years Intentions will be rather than resolution.

With this thought in mind and after a wonderful lunch with a friend…I’m going to work on putting together a mission statement for myself. What is my focus going to be? What am I really trying to achieve and become in this next year?  What do I want to give back to this world. How do I want to walk through life??? 

I like the idea of writing a mission statement for myself.  Every business, agency, etc has one….why not me?  Why not us? 

As you think about your resolution for this coming year…maybe think about what you would like your intentions to be instead?  I’m hoping to find my through a mission statement………

May you all have a wonderful new year filled with health, hope, and love for you and your families!

In the past 5 days I have been to 2 celebrations for women who have completed Ironman Arizona and Cozumel.  

You Can Have Your Cake and Eat It Too!

First up was a potluck at Bine’s house for 9 of us.  I had not meet all these women before but had become friends with them through Facebook.  It was fun to follow their endeavours as we trained our tails off in preparation for our big days!

 Everyone but me had competed at Ironman Arizona the week before my race so I had the chance to track them while they were racing.  It was so exciting to track all of them on that day!  I had a blast….and it also gave me quit a bit of nerves! 

The party was fantastic and hearing everyone’s stories of what the day was like for them was so cool.  Especially since it was all of our first times.   As we took our picture I was so overwhelmed with awe at how courageous all 9 of us were.  We had ALL just competed  in our first IRONMAN!  How amazing is that?  All these Ironman Goddesses!  I looked at each one of these new triathlon sisters and was inspired and in awe of each one of them.  To have 9 women, all in one room, who had just finished their first Ironman!  Friggin AWESOME and empowering!

9 Ironman Goddesses

The potluck food kinda cracked me up…..the meals that people brought to share where still as healthy as we all had become accustomed to eating….and then there was the cake and ice cream. And for the first time in months we were all able to enjoy dessert without worrying how it would affect our next days workout!  AHHHHH….the simple pleasures!  I had a marvelous night with everyone who was there!

What A Spread

Next I was invited to another friends house who I have become friends with at Masters Swimming.  She had introduced me to Christy who also did Ironman Cozumel.  Although Christy and I didn’t hang out much leading up to IMCZ we kept track of each other on Facebook. 

Christy and I ran into each other before the race and many times during the race.  I always enjoyed seeing her smiling face throughout the day….So it was especially nice to sit down to dinner with her and talk about the race we both did!  I hadn’t talked to anyone else yet who had done IMCZ and it was such a treat to share our stories of the day and the race and to know exactly what we were both talking about!

Basking in the Glow- post IMCZ

I must say I had a great time basking in the glow of my Post Ironman achievement!  I always get so excited when I get the chance to talk about my day and experience.  And to have so many wonderful strong women in my life who all have that same expeience of finishing and Ironman is such an honor!