This past weekend we held the memorial celebration for my father.  It was the most wonderful, yet hardest day.  80+ people from around the country came to honor my father Frank.

We had a wonderful time sharing stories from a microphone about my Dad.  People talked for 4 hours.  It was amazing, and sad, and fun.

Dad's Celebration- The intermission break

The themes that seemed to be repeated by everyone were that Frank was:

-A true steward of the earth.  He spent his whole life fighting for water.  He helped found CalTrout and most recently he successfully fought Nestles’ attempt to build a water bottling plant in McCloud. It was a 5 year battle and just last September Nestles backed out.  My Dad was a environmentalist and he went Green way back in the 60’s.  We grew up recycling and littering was not tolerated!

-He was a good listener and always could give sage advise.  Many people shared about the times my Dad took someone aside and helped them through a difficult time.

-He was a hard worker and could fix ANYTHING!  I mean ANYTHING!  Everyone had a story of how my Dad had come over and helped them fix, build or replace something.  A few times a hammer to whatever wasn’t working was all it took, but usually the fixes where very involved.  My Dad loved helping people fix things!

-He had a great sense of humor.  My Dad could bust you up laughing for hours.  He could also imitate just about any noise.  And if his comedic timing didn’t get you, his SMILE did!  My Dad had the best smile I have ever seen.  The world lit up when Dad smiled.

My Dad was many things to many people…and these are just a few.  I always thought my Dad was the most amazing man I had ever known.  I felt it in my gut that this was the truth, but then at times I’d wondered if I thought that just because he was my Dad.  After this weekend, and after what  people shared, I now know for certain that my Dad was truly that GREAT of a human being. 

My Dad, Frank, was the best father, mentor, friend, human being that I could have ever been blessed with. 

May you rest with the Angles Dad.  I love you and I will see you and that big smile again.

My Dad, Frank- the greatest father a daughter could ever have!

Yesterday was my birthday….yeap another one. 

 I am officially over 50!  Holy Cra%…How in the heck did that happen????  Wasn’t it just yesterday I was 35??????  I can’t believe it…..Time does fly, especially when you’re having fun!!!!

Every year I’ve looked at my birthdays as the one day out of the year where I can make it all about me (not that I don’t on other occasions…but I’m working on that).  There was only one problem yesterday.  This was my first birthday in 51 years where my Dad didn’t sing me happy birthday.  That made for a bit of a sad day.   It was my birthday and an occasion for celebration, but I really spent a lot of time crying when I was alone……And that was ok.  I needed to do that…….grieving can be like that…it just comes and then it’s gone.

So of course, with a birthday, it brings an opportunity to pause.  Pause and take stock of my life and where I’m at, and where I’m going.  At the beginning of the year I wrote a post about New Years Intentions.   With all that occurred in January I never made the time to write myself a mission statement.  I figure now is a good time to do that as I embark on my next year of being on this earth.

Even though yesterday was a tough day, I must thank all my friends who reached out to me and wished me a happy birthday.  Each time I got a message it lifted my spirits and put a smile on my face.  It made me feel cared for and comforted. 

Today is a new day.  I feel GREAT and happy and joyful and thankful to be 51!  I think I needed those tears yesterday to wash away some of the sorrow. 

The sun is out and tomorrow will bring a TOUGH strength run!  It will be nice to run outdoors!  It’s been a few weeks.  I’ll make sure to take pictures and blog about it!  Should be a dooozzzyyyy….

I hope everyone enjoys the weekend and gets out in the sun!

Oh my oh my….talk about a winter storm! 

Here I am in northern California in the midsts of a 4 day snow storm.  And did I mention I’m out in the boonies?  Like, in a small town of about 500 people? 

I use to live in this area years ago and since moving to Denver and our “champange powder”- I have forgotten all about  “Sierra Cement”.  Forget about trying to shovel…. I swear- half a shovel weighs about 10 lbs! 

Famous Sierra Cement- off the back porch

When El Nino storms “march” off the coast with “copious” amounts of moisture, you have the perfect recipe for downed tree and powerlines and closed roads!  And that’s where I find myself today…..stuck in the house with no where to go. 

We’ve been without power for 48 hours now- the roads are closed- as are all the businesses.  Thank goodness for the large generator that has been purring for two days, a wood burning stove, and Verizon Wireless Access.  I have all the luxuries I need 

One problem…is the propane for the generator is getting low, and Suburban Propane can’t fill their trucks because the eletricity is out and therefore can’t deliver more propane. 

So, we’re going to shut off the generator for today.  Oh yeah…did I mention we’re on well water and when the generator gets turned off so does the water??  Pots and pans and bottles are filled…

The forecast is for more snow.  The power isn’t suppose to be back on for about a week.  Hopefully we can get propane before then…but in the meantime……

Who said California was all sun and warm weather anyway?????

Francesco Augustino DeRoss

My Father Frank is rich in tradition. He always came home on time, never drank, never smoked, a solid family man, a steady guiding hand

My Father Frank is rich in things that you can not buy and if you could buy them it would not be wise to do so

My Father Frank laughed a lot, because that brilliant smile would have been an awesome thing to waste

My Father Frank engaged his faith with his outstanding intellect and that is where truth lives

My Father Frank can listen to the words you say even when you don’t say them

My Father Frank held still in those moments that most rush to ignore. He knows that true beauty lives there, in between the notes

My Father Frank is brave and stood to fight and never broke and never winced

My Father Frank took in the earth and sought it out and honored it’s worth

My Father Frank recognized talent and ignited confidence in other’s abilities without the need for personal glory

My Father Frank knew passions that ran deep and hot under ice cold waters

My Father Frank was loyalty, was melody, was kind

My Father Frank was industrious with wrench n’ hammer, muscle and mind

My Father Frank danced with common sense, and upon God’s grace he dined

Mt Father Frank.  My Father Frank.  My Father Frank.

La Famiglia DeRoss

When I wrote my last post, in the back of my mind I was thinking about my father and the uncertainty of his health. I wrote that I was excited about this next season of racing and all that goes with it. I knew though from my experience this past year that life can change in a moment.
I write this post as I am sitting at DIA waiting to fly to California to be with my Dad in his last few days.
I’ve packed my swim and run stuff and have brought a pair of bike shoes…. What will be appropriate I don’t know at this time…I do know that it is important to continue self care and the way I do that is by exercising and trying to eat well.

Blogs sometimes are fun and light and full of laughter. But as a dedicated triathlete I must also face other challenges in my life that have an impact on my training. Life can throw us a curve ball sometimes. I don’t know what the answers are or the best way to do things. I do know that I can show up and be present for those who need me…and try to do the best in continuing to care for myself.

Here we are at the close of another year. 

 Heck, we’re done with a whole other decade!  It seems like just a few years ago we were worried about what would happen on New Years Eve of the new millennium.

The end of an old year is a time of reflection and then looking at what the next year might bring.

This past year was interesting to say the least. The year began with a commitment to completing my first Ironman; then a divorce; followed by a summer and fall of family leave from work to care for my father as he went through cancer treatment. To say this year was a year of unexpected occurrences is an understatement.  I never thought when I signed up for my first Ironman that I would be faced with these other challenges.  I thought the hardest thing would be getting all the training done….well- I got all the training done and navigated this past year. 

As I look toward the coming new year I now know that I may set out to achieve certain goals or think that my life may play out a certain way….yet no matter how much I plan things….life will happen, won’t it?

So that is why I’ve decided to spend some time reflecting on what my New Years Intentions will be rather than resolution.

With this thought in mind and after a wonderful lunch with a friend…I’m going to work on putting together a mission statement for myself. What is my focus going to be? What am I really trying to achieve and become in this next year?  What do I want to give back to this world. How do I want to walk through life??? 

I like the idea of writing a mission statement for myself.  Every business, agency, etc has one….why not me?  Why not us? 

As you think about your resolution for this coming year…maybe think about what you would like your intentions to be instead?  I’m hoping to find my through a mission statement………

May you all have a wonderful new year filled with health, hope, and love for you and your families!

I had heard and read about this thing that supposedly happens to triathletes after they finish an Ironman called Post IronMan Depression or PIMD.

There is suppose to be this big let down afterwards. I mean you’ve trained you’re butt off for close to one year, foregoing all relationships and forgetting about sleeping in until 7:00 on the weekends.

You’re constantly on the go either working or training. You’re life becomes defined by the last big workout you did and competing in an Ironman.

The let down can be huge, leading to depression. Next can come lethargy and the inability to motivate for any type of workout. And heck, while you’re at it, all those delicious foods you abstained from while training, you might as well start enjoying again.

And so the cycle begins…depression, no exercise, bad food choices…and then more depression.

PIMD - Say it ain't so!

So what’s a (newly) ordained Ironman to do?

I don’t know about anybody else but I can tell you what I’ve done to stave off  PIMD.  I gave myself some goals…..

1.  Sign up for next seasons Ironman.  About 3 months before Ironman Cozumel, I signed up for my second IM.  Not knowing if I would actually like this Ironman stuff, but pretty sure I was going to….

2.  Lose some FAT.  After training for a year, and never having the opportunity to restrict calories to reduce my weight in fat…Two weeks post IM I have begun a “diet” to drop fat during this down time.  After consulting with my sports nutritionist and coach, it was unannomous that this would be my only opportunity to do this.

3.  Embrace and Enjoy a month of no serious/planned training.  Since I had decided to restrict calories and now was the best time to relax on my training plan- I have opted to enjoy my friends, movies, sleeping in until 7:00 on the weekends, no 5:00 am Masters swims….you get the picture.  I just wake up and do a half to full hour of  WHATEVER I WANT!  How fun is that!  And the key here…is 6 days a week I do some type of exercise.

4.  Plan an early season Race. Get your first race of the season on the calendar.  I am kicking off 2010 with Rage Long Course Triathlon.  They will have two qualifiying spots per age group for the Worlds Long Course Team.  Now this is movitating me tremendously!  I am motivated to stay motivate!  I am motivated to lose fat!  I am motivated to kick butt when I get back to serious training in January…..You get the picture.

5. Try a New Sport- or get back to an Old Favorite.  I was an avid rock climber for 15 years, many years ago.  I say that climbing is my first love yet I haven’t taken time to climb in about 7 years.  So, in this down time I have dusted off my climbing harness and shoes and gotten out to the climbing gym.  It’s great cross training and I’m hoping to keep it in my training plan once January rolls around.

I have been able to stave off PIMD.  I’m over 3 weeks post Ironman and have not felt depressed nor unmotivate.  Actually, I am really looking forward to January 1st and getting back into serious training.  I have embraced this month off and looked for ways to use this time to my advantage…plus having the goal of qualifiying for Worlds is really, really motivating me!!!!

Don’t know if this will help anyone, but I hope it can….I know this game plan has kept me positive and hopefully lighter at the end of it all!

Well, I’m headin home after 12 weeks of Family Leave.  I was out in Mt Shasta, California from July through October with two airplane trips and two round trip drives from Colorado to California. At times I didn’t know whether I was coming or going or even what state I was in. 

This was the most precious time of my life.  I was in Mt Shasta to help care for my father as he went through treatment for cancer.  I can’t tell you what an honor it was to walk through this time with him.  My Dad was a living example of perseverance and determination.  He had been mis-diagnosed for over one year with facial paralysis being mistaken for Bells Palsy rather than the tumor that was sitting on the nerves in his face. 

The pain got progressively worse over a year and finally a PET scan was ordered which showed the tumor.  Surgery was scheduled 3 days later.  My Dad proceeded to lose the ability to swallow and partial hearing in the one ears that still worked.  Dad ended up being on a feeding tube and was unable to talk or hear for over two months as he went through aggressive radiation and chemo treatment. 

It was hard to see my Dad, this GIANT man who was always so strong and could fix anything, become ill and not be able to talk.  If it was hard on me, it was 100 times harder for him! 

Treatment was 5 days a week for 8 weeks.  The caveat with this was the treatment was in Redding, which was 1.5 hour drive each way.  So not only did Dad have to receive radiation 5 days a week, he was traveling 3 hours a day to do so. 

The amazing thing that happened as a result of the traveling is the community came together and volunteers came forward to drive us down for treatment….AND to bring us a prepared meal every night!  I was overwhelmed by the generosity of the people who did this!  I also know though, that this is a reflection of how my parents have lived their lives and the kindness they continually give to the people and the community in which they live.

Dad ended up needing 24 hour care during the treatment.  We brought together a team of evening caregivers and my mother and I cared for Dad during the day.   There would be times when I would be feeding my Dad through his feeding tube and he would be sleeping.  I would look at him and think how amazing it is to have the roles reversed at this time.  I remember a picture of Dad feeding me when I was a baby, and how I was totally dependent on him to feed and care for me…..Now it was my turn to do that for him.  Again, I always felt so honored every time I could do something that helped make my Dads quality of life better…..no matter what that was.

This time was hard, but not hard.  Yeah I was away from “my” life in Denver…I didn’t get to do as many races as I had planned and didn’t get to go to Worlds in Australia…..I didn’t have my normal routine…..but that truly didn’t matter!  My family was very supportive of me being able to continue to train for Ironman while I was there….so by some miracle I only missed two swim workouts in 4 months!!!

As I head home, I’m sad and glad.  Sad because I’ll miss my Dad.  Glad because this means that Dad is done with his treatment.  At this point I can’t honestly say I’m glad to be headed home and back to “my” life.  I’m sure I’ll adapt once I get back.  I’m sure I’ll get back to my old routine….but I’m sure going to miss being with my Dad every day and I’ll miss out on seeing the progress he makes as he begins his recovery.

One thing I’ve learned over these past few months, is faith can get you through anything….and that being there when family needs you is the most important thing for me.  So, as I’m headin home, I’ll take all these lessons with me and hopefully remember them as I move forward. One thing I know for sure….is my Dad is my HERO in every way, and there is nothing that I wouldn’t do for him!

In the past two weeks since my last post I came out to Mt Shasta California to visit my family. My father hadn’t been doing so great and I took advantage of the long weekend. That Monday after my parents dropped me off at the airport my father went to the drs for a PET scan. The left side of his face had been paralyzed for one year and he had significant pain behind his ear. Recently he had begun to cough constantly and soon had problems swallowing, which ended up being an paralyzed vocal cord and esophagus.

Back to the PET scan…It showed that my dad had a tumor behind his ear which was affecting the nerves in his face and surgery was scheduled for 3 days later…..

I ended up coming home to Denver and then two days later flew back to California to help with my fathers recovery. My dad made it through surgery and the tumor ended up being squamish cancer which he had previously had on his face but had migrated to the gland behind his ear.

The days that followed his surgery got progressively harder for him as his throat began to close up and he could not hold down food or medications due to coughing. Either my mother or I had to be home at all times and when he tried to eat or take his meds one of us had to be next to him. He would be up all night coughing and almost choking…it was extremely difficult to see this strong man be struggling so much. In the days following his surgery my dad got progressively week and thin. This was the time that he should be gaining strength-not getting worse.

On Tuesday after the surgery we went back to the surgeon to have him remove a drainage tube from my dad. At this time the surgeon told us he would do a procedure on Thursday that would open his airway up and fix his vocal cord. This was not going to be a permanent fix and would last 3 months….we were all very hopeful!!!!!

Thursday rolled around none too soon as my dad got progressively worse and weak. The good news was after this procedure my dad immediately felt his throat was better and asked for a burrito! That was music to our ears! Although he couldn’t have a burrito yet, he came home that night and ate a big bowl of fresh mashed potatoes and butter! You have no idea how incredibly happy we were to see my dad be able to eat that much and not cough it all up!!!!!! Praise God! My dad actually began to crack jokes again!

So how does all this relate to Life Changing in a Moment…..Here I’ve been, cruising along training for Ironman Cozumel and World Championships in Australia, and BLAMO my life has changed! I mean in a big way…..

I am on a plane right now flying back to Colorado and in 10 days I will turn around and head back to Mt Shasta for at lease 6 weeks. With my wonderful job at MHCD I can take up to 12 weeks Family Leave to help care for my father. This means my whole training schedule as I know it is out the window and will need to be revamped. I have done the footwork in the Mt Shasta area and found a running and biking group and possibly some other triathletes (waiting to contact them). It’s a bit daunting to think of not having my support and training buddies around….but I know I can manage! The most important thing is my father. My mother and I were talking last night about me continuing to train for Ironman and she was very clear she does not want me to put that on hold…that I need to continue with my life while I am with them. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have parents that support me like that!!! But I also know that it is my turn to support them in any way they need at this time. I can’t imaging not being there to help my father through his treatment for cancer or for my mother as she cares for him. They are amazing, kind, beautiful, strong people who I would do anything for!

As life continues for the next week- I have a sprint triathlon tomorrow and next weekend the Sunrise Century. A few days after that I will load up my car with my two bikes, my gear, clothes and my dog and head to Mt Shasta. I’m meeting on Monday with my coach Andrea and we’ll go over changing my race schedule to fit with the west coast. I won’t be at 5000 feet anymore but thankfully Mt Shasta City sits at 3500’ and it’s easy to get into higher altitude there.

I’ll have to be aware of balancing training and helping out as dad goes through treatment. One friend just asked me “who’s going to care for Doreen?” Good question, but I’m sure it will all work out. Life has a way to presenting exactly what we need in the moment we need it- if we are listening and aware of what God is presenting. Having faith in this makes it possible for me to do anything.

When I came up with the name for my blog- Going The Distance- I had no idea just what that would mean…I just new there would be challenges in my journey to Ironman. Little did I know that the people I loved most would be facing big challenges themselves and that I would be privileged with being there through it. I can only hope to be a source of strength for them and to support them the best I can. Life is never certain and can change in a minute but no matter what we can always try our best to Go The Distance!

So- here’s to all of us- going the distance!!!